My Friend

In 2002 Right after the September 11 attacks I met a guy in High School. His name was Simon. We were young and wild. The entire relationship was Rocky. I tell myself now that I never wanted to be with him. Maybe its just now because hes dead and I cant forget him because he was my first Real boyfriend. The night he died was awful. I always think that if I hadn't been self absorbed or self involved that I would have seen that he needed help. There were many times he spoke of Suicide. In the music he listened to and how he acted. I see now that a year and a half isn't enough time to really know someone. I knew him on the outside but inside he was in so much pain. He told me about things that happened to him. I didn't know if he was telling the truth. I can see now that he most likely had PT SD himself before he died. 

Simon was a very nice guy. Too nice in fact is what I thought. I guess that's why I stayed with him. He never hurt me the way other people had. My father was abusive and my mother wasn't and still isn't in the picture. The last thing I said to him was that somethings are unforgivable. Because he had cheated on me and I didn't want to be with a cheater. That just destroyed any feelings I had towards him. I told him this while we were on the phone. The last thing I heard was him dying. At the time I thought he was playing but I called back later and the Pastor said that he committed Suicide. At that moment on the phone. My own life flashed in my head. I still remember it. I do not remember the entire relationship at all only pieces of it. I wish I could think about him and the time I had without this horrible thing at the end. Its been 10 years and have now only remembered. I had no support then when he died. His family pointed the finger at me. When the entire time they didn't even realize how much pain their own son was in. Their is no one to blame he had a lot of problems, His family most likely didn't know. We can not see inside the minds of other people. I know he is in a better place now where people don't judge him and make fun of him. Where his family loves him and he can be Happy
MyGirl28 MyGirl28
May 24, 2012