I worked in a prison in the army and saw a lot of messed things that included rape, cannibalism, murder and other just plain crazy ****. I was stabbed a few times and even developed bleed from veins in my nose and eyes from the stress. I was out of the army for about 6 months when I started having issues like not sleeping for days or weeks, feeling depressed and hopeless, fears, having numbness, being unresponsive in a lifeless state and paranoia. I was made to go to the va after attempting to shoot myself. The shrink said I had PTSD, and they sent me to two other doctors that said the same thing. I was put in a program with classes. When I moved the new VA region made it harder to get treatment because they only give it for combat. So I had to go through behavioral health. They had me doing CPT and it got so intense they were making go 3 times a week so I quit going because it was emotionally taking over my life. I then got married and had a extremely abusive wife who beat me and kept me trapped and isolated. After her arrest and the last attack I have had more and even new issues. I just shutdown more and have more fear. I am afraid of the VA to be honest every time I go the treatment gets to intense.