After My Divorce

After my husband divorced me,back in 2005, I couldn't watch TV shows or movies that had to do with marriage, divorces, couples fighting, or even weddings. I still look away when I see people kissing on TV.. though I feel sad when I see couples walking hand in hand out in public.

This was when I was told I have PTSD. I have many family members who had gotten divorced and shared that it was very painful process. Little did I know how painful it could get until I experienced it. I had to erase all those 6 years of memories of my husband. I couldn't look at certain landmarks- such as his former apartment where I met him, it hurt too much.

Last night I had a bad dream about my husband again, and I have no idea where this came from. Every time I see him, he start acting like a long lost friend and thinks I want him back. He's a die-hard jerk!

Haha.. what a joke! HE divorced me in the first place. We tried reconciling 5 times after that, but it didn't work out. He was too dang maniplative and an alcoholic. I flat out want nothing to do with any guy who drinks!

But now I'm in my early 40's, I often think about dating again, but I am too scared to try again. I am afraid of getting hurt and being taken advantage of!

noaht43 noaht43
46-50, T
4 Responses Jun 26, 2012

After 26 years of marriage I am a total wreck. I left the marriage but I feel depressed and anxious all the time. I sometimes feel like I can't go on another day. I feel like I will never know happiness again. I started on Prozac and am looking for a psychiatrist. Am I normal or crazy?

I too have Divorce PTSD after my long term marriage. Then she died of cancer 2 years later. So I feel like a got double dose of PTSD. I did not wish for her die. I was cut out of caring for her, her funeral, obit, everything. She walk out and we were not even fighting. Just gone then gone. No one knows how I feel as I hide it. But I hurt.

Hi I would like to get a sponsor who will help me in to the transformation process

Hang in there. Time will lessen the pain. Speaking from (way too much) experience.