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My Friend Again

He almost reacted again tonight. I couldn't tell at first but I noticed he was very distracted by something. As people were the only ones in the room I figured somebody was an issue for him. Turns out one of the people in the group was a mean drunk who triggered the episode last time. My friend was giving him death glares. Luckily the drunk guy wasn't drunk this night but he and his friends were very rude. I wished that my robotically emtotion friend was there to help but I also wanted to prove that I could do something. We were sitting down when he was getting edgy so I moved my body to block his view of the guy. If you can't see the problem then you won't be reminded of it. I then said what I said last time: "It's gonna be okay, you're with friends." I also added the words: "if he does anything suspicious I will punch out his guts." I am a very aggressive person. I like things to be nice and peaceful and full of joy. When people distrupt that flow of happiness I get a little tempramental. That's just me. Luckily, he was more calm than last time and decided to eventually remove himself from the area. I followed him for a while (I took him through the 'sepecial' doors (the back door) so we didn't have to see the guy as we left) but after sitting around for a bit he went to wander. I was concerned at first but he came back safe and no problems happened. I am glad that he handled it well. If he keeps getting better, slowly but surely he will be much happier in life. I do wonder though, each situation is different but how long has it taken people to overcome the skeletons in their closet? Is there a specific environment that will help more than others? I know you can't rush or push people to get better but if possible, I'd like to give people the opportunity to at least have the option to get better in their current environment.
sukaza4meshon sukaza4meshon 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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That makes it more of a challenge, being a common area. Just keep supporting like you do. It will be up to him to open himself up for counseling. It does help and he really needs to do it. When my therapist brings up a truth that I have been missing, well, I fight it a little bit. But he is seeing it from an outside position while I am mired deeply in it. Stay with it!
-Lobo6

Do you two really need to go to the place where this happens? Is it a place of dire need like a hospital or clinic? If not, change where you go or when you go. It would not be wise to knowingly place him in the "arena" to face the bull and expect him to some how "deal" with his issues!
If this is a tavern or bar or night club you are going to.....ask yourselves if the risk is worth it. Getting yourself into a fight with a drunk man will not help your friend at all.
Plus, alcohol and PTSD are not a good mix!
-Lobo6

No, this is a school campus. The area we're in is usually safe but sometimes you get some drunk idiots coming it. It stinks but at least everybody in our area is nice. It also helps his body can't process alcohol, so no issue there :)

Good for you, trying so hard to help your friend! You did well to block his view of the problem-person and tell him he's okay. Getting him out of the situation was good too.

PTSD is brutal to live with. I keep a teddy bear in my bag so I have something warm and "safe" to hold on to. It also can help to have a worry stone in your pocket. In general, touching something really textural can help me; it draws my focus to the "now" rather than the "then".

Honestly, just being willing to help your friend, and learn about PTSD is a hugely helpful thing. Knowing that someone is there, that someone cares enough to help me come back to myself...it's huge. The feeling of being alone, like nobody in the world wants me or would ever bother wasting time on me is a huge part of my flashbacks. So knowing that I *do* have people who care helps a LOT.

Hope that helped, and I appreciate the work you're doing to help your friend.

It did help and thank you. Although we haven' known each other for a long time he is still one of the nicest guys I know. I just hate seeing people suffer. And if all I need to do is keep reminding him that he is safe and wanted then why not do it? It's time for people to stop being afraid of the world, stop being afraid of life. I hope you get better as well. It's a smart idea, to carry something to distract you. I just might steal that idea if you don't mind. Take care.

By all means, take whatever ideas of mine that will help! I also look at things around me and ask myself "how could I paint/draw that?" I decide what colors would work, what media...essentially I'm looking *really* closely at something in the present and describing it in extreme detail. That way I'm connected in "now". Thank you for your reply, and I hope you and your friend do well.