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I Have Ptsd

So Annoying

By: goodlittlegirl
Written on January 27th, 2013
I have what you call an exaggerated 'startle response'.

What this entails is as follows:

-at every loud noise my body literally jerks into the air and am immediately turned on to fight or flight mode

-I will then stay in fight or flight mode for a long time

-this in turn makes me soooo tired and worn out

-it can be the same noise over and over again but my reaction is always the same

-any sort of door slamming unexpectedly

-Fire drills will elicit tears. This is completely involuntary.

-I get extremely nervous around loud people

-Do not under any circumstance hide behind something and scream "BOO"

Tonight in my new apt the furnace keeps making clicky bangy noises and I'm so sick of jumping all about.


FU CK YOU PTSD
that is all carry on
By: goodlittlegirl
Age: 31-35 , Female
188 people have read this story

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16 responses
  • goodwinimbad
    goodwinimbad

    I have PTSD as well. Hard one to shake. Not sure we ever get past it, just learn how to live with it. I can't handle crowds of strangers. Crowds of friends for only so long.

    Mar 11
    1 like
  • RRguy
    RRguy

    I have suffered from PTSD. It took three tries before I found the right therapist but it worked. I still have memories but now they are just memories. The negative symptoms are gone. Have you sought therapy?

    Feb 20
    1 like
    • goodlittlegirl
      goodlittlegirl

      Oh yeah, plus EMDR. Im not scared or anything just certain things startle me.

      Feb 20
      1 like
  • pblooper
    pblooper

    did something happen that caused the startle complex?

    Feb 18
    1 like
    • goodlittlegirl
      goodlittlegirl

      Yes its in one of my stories.

      Feb 20
      1 like
    • pblooper
      pblooper

      which one?

      Feb 21
      1 like
    • goodlittlegirl
      goodlittlegirl

      Um its in the PTSD catagory My sons father tried to kill me

      Feb 21
      1 like
  • PinkHairBlueEyes
    PinkHairBlueEyes

    Me too... I often carry a sketch book with me... So after I unclench my fists, I have something to distract my brain with. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't... But when it does, I'm always so thankful for this trick of mine. Maybe there is something that helps to calm you?

    Feb 6
    1 like
  • cvann5
    cvann5

    Wow, I get the same thing when there are unexpected loud noises... Loud people make me VERY irritable, anxious and hostile as well. This comes in part by having a combat shocked and hostile father who yell and berate all the time, and partly because of my own experiences overseas... which I am not up to detailing today.
    Copy traffic

    Feb 1
    1 like
  • Totherescue
    Totherescue

    I can say from personal experience, That PTSD or PTS is a real *****!! The intake of air as you gasp, the shaking..The immediate adrenalin rush that will not let you sleep because your heart is mach 2.3... I know it well... took a while and some restructured thinking.. Has been a life saver.. I am here if you need any help or vent release...

    SB

    Jan 28
    1 like
  • orchid00
    orchid00

    That doesn't sound pleasant at all! I'm sorry. I'm the same way with unexpected noises. My heart will do one really strong pound, then I usually realize false alarm. I'm the same with any type if alarm too, fire or not. The alarm fear isn't actually what gave me ptsd, but there was an incident never the less.

    I hope the night in your new apartment went smoothly. Stay strong!

    Jan 28
    2 likes
    • goodlittlegirl
      goodlittlegirl

      Thanks so much. I finally fell asleep. My alarm fear I think stems from the need to 'get to safety' from my incident. Regardless some days are tougher than others. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.

      Jan 28
      1 like
  • WarriorMom
    WarriorMom

    My heart goes out to you. When my PTSD hit I was the same way. It will get better, I promise.

    Jan 28
    2 likes
    • goodlittlegirl
      goodlittlegirl

      Thanks WM its been almost 5 years since the incident and it has gotten a lil better since.

      Jan 28
      1 like
  • affinityterra
    affinityterra

    I really hope it will stop enough for you to get some rest.

    Jan 27
    2 likes
    • goodlittlegirl
      goodlittlegirl

      me too for some reason its bad tonight. I have a white noise machine and Im hoping it helps.

      Jan 27
      1 like