Ward Of The State

i'll start off by saying that my ptsd stems from growing up in a mental hospital. why did i grow up in a mental hospital? well i often ask myself that question. but i will try to make this story short and to the point. in1963 my mother who was married had an affair with another man , needless to say that i was the product of that affair. her husband who she told about the affair( after learning of my pending arrival) decided that he would forgive her and try to save thier relationship. after about 7 years they started to have problems, the main one being that i did not look anything like anyone in my family.(they all being brown hair and eyes and me being blonde and blue.)and the fact that i started looking just like my father. well the fateful day came when he told her that it was either him or me...well not to make her case for her, she was very dependent on him, so she chose him. well that was bad news for me. you have to remember that in 1970 there were not very many places to send a 7 year old boy that wasnt an ophan and foster homes were very far and few. so the state not really not knowing what to do with me had to find me a bed and supervion. i should add that they couldnt let me be adopted because she would not give away her rights, i guess in case she had a change of heart( which she didnt.) so needed to say my adventure began. i can start by saying that in 1970 the last place you wanted to be was in a mental hospital. you had the guys that were coming home from the war that had completly lost it, along with all the others that you find in a place like that. for those that may have watched the movie one flew over the coo coo's nest i can tell you that they had it spot on. sooo.. i cant begin to tell you all that i seen other than to say it was a never ending nightmare. but it was real...very real....well at this point i am drained just writing about it and thinking back on it...so if you will forgive me i will post again with the rest of my ptsd..
roughrider64 roughrider64
46-50, M
1 Response Feb 2, 2013

I have PTSD and it was 40 years before I was diagnosed, seems like the crap from Nam was buried deep enough it really did`nt bother til I semi-retired. My brain had time to remember things I really did not want to remember. Hang in there, take your meds, go to counseling and talk with other people that have this crap. I know it is hard to talk about things sometimes but IT DOES HELP.