I Think I Have Ptsd

I think I may have PTSD. My dad is not in my life, but sometimes when it gets really bad (which is rare, but it happened today) I get flashbacks and start feeling horrible about myself. I am a valedictorian, going to a prestigious college, and have a wonderful job, but when I think about father figures or male figures ignoring me and taking me for granted, I start feeling really stressed like I am not worth it and the people around me are just going to leave me, and I am going to disappoint someone. Then I talk through it with my boyfriend and find myself being stressed about him coming home from work and ignoring me (which I remember from the past from my dad). Now I am writing this out and catch myself saying right not write and using word like reliable and these things jump out at me. I know I can get through this, but I know it will not be overnight. I know I am a beautiful, hard working, successful, nice daughter but I still need to manage to get that in my psyche because when I have an episode like today I feel myself feeling really bad, and I just have to make sure I get up and do what I know I can do. Even now I am getting all excited for validation which I know I will not get but that is just how I am emotionally sometimes, like I am a kid looking through an adult woman's eyes. (I am 18, just graduated high school early, working, and will be living on campus at a college in Sept)

foxibabialwayz foxibabialwayz
18-21, F
2 Responses Jun 23, 2009

Thats not ptsd,it more like abandoment issues. ptsd is more like vivid flashbacks wich are more intence than a memory of the past. When you have ptsd its like one day just lying in bed in the comfort of your own home and all of the sudden smell like you are somewhere else from the past like say a hospital. Ugh i dont know how to explain it really but i have ptsd and those abandoning issues so i know the difference.

I hope everything is going better for you!