My Faith In Gods Words / Jesus Actions Have Never Led Me Astray

Let me start this for you how can such a sexually obsessed ******* proclaim his faith in god. how can i lust after flash a critical no-n o and yet still choose to believe in a God who condemns such acts ? I would love to dig down in my psyche but in all honestly i know to  a certain extent i am not only a hypocrite but  in constant violation in Gods' word. 


Today I took a walk on the beach , to look at the rise and fall of the beautiful...ocean . i won't pretend that i am perfect and in all honesty i pity anyone who looks at my christianity and demands perfection from me .


No the reason i believe in God is primarily the simplest reason of all in my opinion, doing so has never steered me wrong . Don't get me wrong i wont pretend like i don't frequently disagree and violate the tenants of my own faith . I am a sinner  but i love that according to my faith its not about being perfect it's about continually improving oneself so that you can make yourself presentable to God one day .  it's not easy , believe it or not i have to fight myself sometimes not to go look up **** on the internet , fight myself not to flirt like a cheap man-***** with every woman that crosses my path and man I have gotten so close to cheating on my girfriend it scares even mysef but still never gone through with it and most of the good / respectable things ( and yes  i mean from a christian perspective ) are driven by my faith .


I have never been a human sympathist in fact i argue without my faith I would consider mankind an unnecessary abomination i must deal with in some circumstance everyday . what good are other people for besides giving me things and satisfying my urges ? that may sound terrible but honestly that's how i feel . some people believe in establishing utopias of equality and love and according to my history books and even looking at society the only way to get everything you could want from a fleshly perspective is to watch your back and take care of you .  there's a sucker born every minute and the rich tend to be those who use a title , mantra, or products to get the ocean of suckers out there to support them . the people who do this rang from presidents and CEO's , to preachers and educators. I don't trust people and in all honesty as i said I feel  no attachment or love for humanity , its little more than a tool to assist me in satisfying my urges.


but i believe in God and because of him i refuse to let those selfish views pervade my thoughts . I believe in jesus a being that carded for any and everyone . I believe in a being ho was sacrificed in his attempt to be an example to the kind of person we all could aspire to be . a person driven by his love for his fellow man in both life and death . a being who hated those in authority who knew better  and had pity on the untouchables who wouldn't know or didn't are to recognize the difference between right and wrong .


because of who i see jesus to be in the bible and because i feel like the love he expressed towards untouchables is also accessible to me it warms my heart . it makes me not want to be selfish . it makes me want to help those in need , to comfort the sick and weak , to help the widows and fatherless.  Compassion for Compassions sake is a foreign concept to me and yet jesus embodied it in so many ways and it baffles me .



I believe in the word of God It has led me the correct way in my life, i have done things i didn't want to do because my bible said to and they work out the ties where i mentally  and very intentionally disregard the bible and the times i allow myself to slip back into "unholy " behavior cause me to convict myself .


its a learned behavior and I learned the only way to have a true relationship with God is to have one that is purely a you and God relationship . not one maintained because your girlfriends a christian, your family, your friends, not being a christian because you're supposed to be but maintaining one because you want a true relationship with God.


At the end of the day I wrote this just to kind of get my belief despite my sinful behavior off my chest . i am not perfect , I just am not nor do i plan to be in this life, i strive towards perfection somedays i back slide to **** other days you know what i don't think i'm a half bad christian......and then a short skirt passes by .


regardless for me my faith in God is more then delusions imposed upon a young mind , something more than me trying to place myself on a pedestal while i point at everyone unlike me , to me my faith is a continual work in progress an attempt to make myself presentable for a being  responsible for things i can't possibly understand in the average human lifespan .  i have faith in the word and therefore my bible because to me if the bible doesn't matter truly none of life does might as well **** , drink , smoke, make as much money , and make myself happy with the things and people around me as best i can and maybe even that would translate into maintaining a committed wife and maintaining a family. Maybe it would translate to living a long and productive life and making my dreams and desires come true . who knows ? 


i sure as hell don't, for me my faith makes me want to love, it makes me want to b a benefit to society and those around me instead of using the word and everyone else as a tool all of a sudden i feel like a tool being used to improve the world...and yes i know that is cheesy as hell . lol thank you for reading and  while i am very open to religious discussion ( meaning conversation about religion for the increased knowledge and understanding of both parties) i refuse to argue my religion is right or defend that it's not wrong  , if you don't believe in God congrats that is *chuckle chuckle* your God-given right but i have nothing to prove and if you are truly invested in your faith  / lack of/ whatever than neither should you.
2horny4myowngood 2horny4myowngood
18-21, M
2 Responses May 24, 2012

That make total sence...

Why you would take the time to come into this group with your perverse attitude only you know, you talk about things that in reality you do not know what you are talking about that includes mentioning of the Bible and Jesus, you are by your own admission a blatant sinner and proud of it.

am i coming into this group with a perverse attitude or bearing my weaknesses before other believers / non believers? would it have been better for me to covered my sins up and acted like i was a perfect human being? no i am a sinner very much so not proud of the fact but fully understanding and appreciating that God has shed his grace on the whelp of a man that i am when i certainly don't deserve it. i am not proud of my sin i am proud of my and loving my God for putting up with it . i didn't ay accepting of it i said put up with it God expects more of me and everyday i try a little harder to make sur i am becoming christ-like that i am presenting the bst possibe me that i can before God . the same God who loved a jonah who rather see an entire people struck down rather than saved, the same God that loved an extremely imperfect king in David is the God i love. i am imperfect but i love that my God is not and he makes up for my lack .