My Hope In Gods Word Part 3

Now no being able to get out really scared me as the abuse had started and
there was no way i could escape it , i hated it there was something that was
not right and i knew it , i would hope he would be asleep or that my younger
brother would not know it was going on .

It was a liveing nightmare and with all the bullying going on at school i ended
up with all this hate for my self, so much more powerfull than me i knew i could not tell as my brother said my dad would kill him.
Dad was heavy drinker and from a very young age i remmember my dad
beating my mum and her screaming to me to call the police i was 5 at that
time but i have flash backs and remmember every feeling i had even how
scared i was when he said " you do and i will kill you " i can see it all when
i close my eyes if i call the memory i can play it in my head just like it was yesterday.

This one evening my older brother answered my dad back and he beat
the hell out of him , my brother was holding a massive glass catering
jar full of pickle i was fixed on the jar just thinking do not drop it he
held that jar so tight if he had droppedit the beating would of been fare worse.

My parents where leaveing one day to go on one of there free shopping trips
i wanted to go as i knew what was going to happen , me and my brother
were on our own i sobbed and sobbed they would not take me and i
knew my mum could see fear in me. All i wanted was it to stop , my face would cring i hated it every moment.

Mum knew what was happening but she did nothing to stop it i had that
gutt feeling she knew but for now i had no prof and never really knew
to ask at that age, that was to come later when i would find the truth.
Soon summer arrived and the free shopping trips started again now this had been going on longer than i could remmember to me it was normal
go in to shop try clothes on to see if thay fitted and if thay did in the bag it would go till we were kitted out from top to toe in thomes clothing.

My dads visits to littlewoods to get new crockery he would come out
just walk out the door with it, we would meet mum as she had to return to empty the bags to be refilled again. We would meet and she would scoff
" 4 setting i need 8 " and of he would go again. I have never seen so much stuff on a double bed it was full ,would it suprise you if i said thay ran a buisness a Snax van i would go to cash and carry and in the bag would go huge blokes of cheese and bacon big packs inside
his parker coat he would wink at me and srugg his head in his shoulders and place his finger to his lips shhhhh it was never ending.

My dad and grandad one day left mum ,me and my sister and went on a free shopping trip they were gone ages so long that we headed back to the car it was a really hot day it was the day of the grand national it was really
getting late so mum got every thing out of the boot of the car my dad had hide the keys in the rim of the car wheel . She went of to get a taxi then came and picked us up with the stuff. We went back to grandads when we arrived there was a hive of attivaty to get every thing in to wheel barrows and of to next doors they had the keys as it was a holiday home to a very nice elderly couple everything went in that they
had taken then we returned back to grandads were we all carried on as normal till there returned.

Thay arrived home and this is what had happened .They both left and went to woolworths and it was a car cleaning sponge that got them caught dad said that he thought he was being watched when he put it in the bag , he went to find grandad and they both went to leave and were asked what was in the bag, caught red handed .
They were all suprised they never searched my grandads .
When it went to court thay got a 4 pound fine each and band from the store , it never stopped them, next it was the markets until grandad got caught stealing a hammer and dad heard someone shouting so dad went to see what all the fuss was, it was grandad so he shouted at grandad and
told the man that he was sorry but my grandad was not all there.

It just went on and on crates off milk , towels sheets even our christmas tree and the water pump for the wheell in the field not a thing was safe not
even my own saving .

Every now and then grandad used to go to London and come back with
men one was a scottish man he was a breath of fresh air to me we used
to sit and talk and he would draw me pictures of a scotch man could
Jimmy Mactavish with his tarten hat and clothing , but it seemed to cause
argguments i never under stood why . Something more pressing was about to happen Mum and Dad were talking about my sister who was to be brought back from the local town ,she was drinking and having partys
and someone had broke in to the metter and stoll the electric money so she
ended up being kicked out which ment that she was coming home.

I was over the moon at this as she used to protect me from the beatings
and i was finelly going to get to share a room with her.I was so glad she
came home . She hugged me when she came home but said she did not
want to come back but she made the most of it ,but little did she know .
The only problem was she had no way to get to work so she had to learn to ride a mophead now there way to do this was to tie a rope to the bars
and then pull her along by the rope in the car ,which may of sounded good
but is not so good on a hill . It started well until she shot past the car flying down the hill she hit the grass bank suspended up side down in a tree, it
was so funny like a clip from a Norman Wisdom film .The out come was broken leg and arm she ended up sleeping on the sette for weeks 'so not so funny for her , funny for us.

Well something big was happening we were moving me and my sister were so excited as things got so uncomfortable at grandads . I was
hoping for a fresh start which was never going to happen. Yes there would be times of fun but it would be over shadowed by more sorrow than i ever
thought possible so much so that not even faith or God who i had come close to knowing would help me to comfort my self in what was to be my
own hell .

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1 Response Sep 13, 2012

great post