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Disappearing Dudes; An EP Phenomenon?

One of the good things about EP is that I have been able to meet many people from varying backgrounds who hail from all over the world.  One interesting aspect of this is that I have met some cool guys on EP who I get along well with and with whom I have become friends with.  All of them live distant from me but, if I had an opportunity, I would gladly drink a beer with any of the guys in my circle. I consider each of them "a friend".  With this in mind, imagine my surprise when I began to notice that some of my EP guy friends would disappear right before my very eyes.  

At first I had no idea where they were going.  I figured they were simply busy with real life issues and chose to spend less time here.  But then, I began to notice a trend. Nearly every time one of my buddies disappeared, he had met a charming lady just weeks or months before who he seemed to be getting along really well with.  Then, over time, I would notice that my friend would share fewer and fewer stories on EP even though he seemed to be logged in as often as before.  Pretty soon, the new stories would cease altogether.  Next, I noticed that my bud is no longer posting on my white board or commenting on my stories.  Even my occasional PM talking about the funny facts about Chuck Norris goes unanswered for days.  By the way, did you know that Chuck Norris needs a concealed weapons permit to put his hands in his pockets?  But I digress.

Where has my buddy gone?  Has he been abducted by aliens?  No, he has simply entered stage 1 of the "phenomenon".  I play it cool, though,  because I don't want to seem like a third wheel.  There's just no future in it.  So I wait it out to see where it goes.  More often than not, one of the two (my buddy or his new EP girlfriend) will leave a post some time after stage 1 begins which hints that one of them is traveling to a new place where they have never been to before (hint, hint).  This causes my antennae go up suddenly.  "Ah ha!" I exclaim to myself.  I knew it!   He's being charmed by [insert charming lady username here]..  

Game on!  She's headed out to see him or him to see her.  This is stage 2.   If all goes well, then stage 3 usually happens rather quickly.   This is whenever  one or the other of them relocates and gives the real world relationship a try.  At this point, my buddy has not logged in to EP for weeks.  It's as if he has literally disappeared.  

Really, I've been here only 8 months, but I've seen this happen enough that I feel as if I could write an EP manual entry for it.  You know, something like "5 things to do when your circle begins losing guy friends".  Yet, who am I to complain if two people find love on EP?  Should I be the one who stands in the way of a budding relationship?  Should I heap loads of "man shame" on him for succumbing to a woman's charms?   No, dear friends.  I will not be "that guy".  Ok, well, I actually am "ThatGuy' but you understand what I am saying.  I prefer to play the wing man for my buddy.  I want him to have a good time and be happy (and of course, to rock that lady's world).  And, damn it, if it means that I have one less guy friend to talk with about chicks, football, my favorite beer and Chuck Norris, then so be it.  It's how I am made.  I'm a giver.

Allow me to close with a pathetic appeal.  Listen....  you ladies obviously have all the power.   We "buddies" cannot compete.  But, I appeal to you ladies who have stolen my buddies in the past and those of you who will steal my buddies in the future.  Will you do me one favor?  When the football playoffs begin, can you allow him some free time away so we can chat it up about our favorite teams?  That would be great.  The playoffs start next week.  Thanks in advance. :):)
thatguy1970 thatguy1970 41-45, M 12 Responses Jan 3, 2012

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This was funny to read lol don't be surprised, it happens all the time.

I know, Luna! I've seen it and read about. lol.

does this phenomenon only happen to you on EP? Because it happens to me in real life.

Here you find someone with an iq over 3rd grader and have smart conversations with big fancy words and before you know it they have found the love of their life and enter that STUPID stage.

Suddenly their iq drops and they have brain mush. They stop talking to you and if they do communicate it is "He or She is so great" " I am so in Love".

Makes a girl with s pesamistic attitude on love want to hurl.

But eventually the rose colored glasses come off, and if you can live through the next stage "he or she is such a ****" "i hate them so much." Eventually their iq returnes and conversations on live changing issues can resume.



good Luck, Don't hold your breath for their return, just enter the cycle and find someone to get twitter patted over.

Yeah, more or less, but that is in any relationship. Relationships are hard work. Getting them is the easy part. Keeping them, the hard part. But, yeah, friends get *abducted* in real life too. :)

Since we're having a nice little Chuck Norris chat, go have a look at the number one item on this top 10 list :).



http://listverse.com/2010/07/16/10-truly-ridiculous-criminal-acts/

That was hilarious! lol

I'm glad you enjoyed that little tidbit. I love that website, it feeds my craving for random information quite regularly.

OMG IT'S THE DUDE!

Ah, I did this with my man, sorry guys!

Didn't think we noticed did you? Ok, ok, I didn't notice, but I bet someone did. lol

Why would you notice, I don't know you.

Someone did, in fact she deleted him and started a range of groups about it.

Ah. It sounds very dramatic.

LOL, You got that right. Women have all the power. But, you'll probably get your buddy back before the Superbowl.

Meh, as long as they are Saints fans.

I have laughed out lous at much of this..............and following on from my much enjoyed cyber buddy RedRubies comment about shoe shopping................last time I was in Saks on Fifth Avenue with a lady, who, yes indeed wanted to look at the shoes, I noticed that the aforementioned store had very kindly installed a bar which showed the baseball games on TV. Proof if proof were needed that us chaps are just steriotypical no matter how hard we try!! Personally, I adore a lady in a wonderful pair of shoes, but mine is not to reason why she had chosen the said pair......................... Batter up!!

We need to go shoe shopping. Music to my ears!

Stereotypical indeed. I think that is the allure we have to women. We are not at all complex... well, not too complex anyway.

This was a really cute story :) Chuck Norris would tell you that your buddy will be back. Let us look at what he is likely doing with his new lady interest:



1) Cleaning his apartment; implying that he always keeps it this neat



2) Pretending he actually wants to watch "Sex and the City" re-runs (By the way, she's a "Carrie")



3) Claiming he'd rather watch a chick- flick than football



4) Going to movies that involve romance and complex multi-generational relationships between women (oh yes!)



5) Accompanying his new lady shopping, where he is enthusiastically being asked his opinion on her shoe choices. (And he'd better not get it wrong. You don't mess with a woman's shoes)



6) Repeating the words, "No really, it's FINE if we wait until we have sex! I really want to get to know who you are as a person too!!"





Who's the lucky one again? ;-P

Thanks and point taken. lol

Any time!

LOL I found this post rather amusing and maybe I am the odd one here.....but I am all for guys keeping their friendships in tact. And them going out is considered a welcomed break. We all have different aspects, needs, interests and so on and its impossible for one person to cover all that...no matter how much they love each other. It is ideal to enjoy things together for sure. But its completely ok in my books if my partner wants to go to hang out with his friends for a bit, golfing, playing poker, watching a game, hunting, etc. Its all about balance. And I don't mind having time to myself. And I will encourage it as well if they haven't been out in awhile or seem down.

Oh, it was meant to be an "amusing" look at something I've noticed. There is little that I find at EP that I do *not* find amusing. :) You seem like a good catch for some lucky guy up there in the great white North, eh? Just curious... can your man also go to ***** clubs or do you draw the line at public nudity? lol :)

LOL not the first time I have been asked that question and I will answer the same way I always do. Surrrreeeeee he can, no problem. But I will NOT take care of another ladies problem. ;)

I can understand that. lol

Mine's not in your circle...and while I did kidnap him for a while he is now free to discuss football results once more!!!

Oh yeah? Interesting. Makes me wonder if you have loosened the chain or simply cut him loose. Either way... yay for football talk. :)

ok..ok...the second!!!

Ah, you spilled the beans under the enormous pressure of my interrogation. lol.

Like most extraterrestrial abductions, the abductees are usually, but not always, returned. With the aliens, the bad parts are usually erased or blurred. If these close encounters end badly, EP is the last place they would want to return, or so I hear. Just rumors maybe.

Clever. It seems I have yet to see one return so you may be right.

I don't know how often you talked to my guy...I'll make sure he's available for football discussion if you'd like though.



On a completely unrelated note, Chuck Norris once helped me change the tire on my car. I say he helped me, but pretty much he just did it himself while I watched. He's a very nice guy.

Thank you stella. And, btw, I was waiting for the punch line about Chuck Norris. He really changed your tire? For real? Did you get to see him roundhouse kick anyone to the face? That would be awesome... as long as it's not me. :)

There is no punchline, lol. He really changed my tire. There's a rather large lake and resort close to where I grew up, and evidently he was vacationing there when my best friend and I broke down. She's clueless, but I do know how to change a tire. I don't have super-powers, though, and couldn't get the lugnuts loose.

He used the tire iron, but one of the bolts was so rusted on that he actually sheared off the post. That's probably the better place to put the joke in, lol.

That is so cool Stella! Awwww what a nice person!

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