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How Can You Tell If A Love Is Lasting And True?

Have you ever had feelings for someone-- feelings of love and then asked yourself if the feelings are real or true?  Many of us have fallen in love at sometime in our lives and then found later that, in spite of the love and the confidence it gave us, the relationship did not last.   For these people, how do we avoid becoming cynical about love, or worse yet, uncertain to the point that we fail to ever make a commitment? 

Believe it or not, I found the answer in a movie.  In a casual conversation with an EP friend recently, we brought up the movie "A Beautiful Mind" starring Russel Crow.  With that conversation fresh on my mind, I rifled through my DVD collection, located that movie and then sat down to watch it.  The movie is mostly about a very intelligent man dealing with a tragic mental illness.  But it is also a love story.  Not the kind of love story where the two walk off into the sunset, but rather, a story of enduring love which lasts through the most impossible of challenges.

There is a scene in the movie where the character played by Russel Crow (John Nash) is considering asking his girlfriend (Alicia) to marry him.   The man is a genius mathematician but a near total disaster at human relationships.  So, naturally, he is unsure of what to do.   He asks his girlfriend how they can be sure that their love is true and worth marrying over.  I'll spare you further commentary and will post the movie dialogue instead.

Nash: Alicia, does our relationship warrant long-term commitment? I need some kind of proof, some kind of verifiable, empirical data. 
Alicia: I'm sorry, just give me a moment to redefine my girlish notions of romance. 
     --- Alicia pauses to think ---
Alicia: How big is the universe? 
Nash: Infinite. 
Alicia: How do you know? 
Nash: I know because all the data indicates it's infinite. 
Alicia: But it hasn't been proven yet. 
Nash: No. 
Alicia: You haven't seen it. 
Nash: No. 
Alicia: How do you know for sure? 
Nash: I don't, I just believe it. 
Alicia: It's the same with love I guess. 

Doesn't that movie dialogue hit it right on the nose?  In matters of love, one can *never* be sure it will last.  There is no proof that it will.  But, if we feel love, and we want it, then we have to have faith that it will last.  We can do nothing more.  :)

deleted deleted 26-30 34 Responses Apr 6, 2012

Your Response


I believe your heart tells you everything you need to know. You know something isn't right when you start questioning it. But you know something is right because you can feel it. I've only questioned my relationship before because it seems too good to be true. Either way, questioning or not, to me I know my relationship is healthy, pure and strong. I know we're a good match but I could never describe my certainty to someone else unless they experienced it themselves. I don't think even the most prolific of writers could ever describe that certainty you feel in your heart about someone.

I miss you so much! Will you ever come back to ep? One of the few clever peeps here with something to say that makes sense!

When you feel deep love with every fibre of your being, you can't help it, can't explain it, you know it and it is there, even in the most dire of circumstances.

True love is forever UNTIL you experience it youll realize that all those times you thought you were in love,was sincere carng but not love..