Reel Or Real?

for years, I’ve been living a sorrowful life. not a day passed without me feeling bad and crying. i cried within while faking a smile outside. my heart was smashed into pieces. realization of what I’ve become, stabbing my heart and soul million times. every day i lived my life seem created to make me suffer. but yes, somehow i am responsible of all these. crying in pain night and day is all i can do.

having to found a guy like my boyfriend got me skeptical at first. i have the fear of pain and betrayal. i was lost. i couldn’t find where could i hold onto. i was so doubtful of his intentions. i was so suspicious of the things he had been showing me. bad experience made me blind to see what’s genuine and imitation. so hard to determine using a wounded heart and malicious brain.

spending time with him helped me learn some things about him. it helped me know the real personality behind this man. he had been good to me, attending my needs yet i couldn’t still decide if its real. it was so hard for me to believe that there’s still a such guy like him. more days had we spent together. i finally felt comfortable with him around. i feel protected being at his side. i feel loved. i feel being valued.

i still fear how things would end up for me and for him. would i get the happy ending i have been dreaming since i was a kid who has so much fascination of fairy tales?

real or reel?
makejessihapii makejessihapii
18-21, F
Dec 14, 2012