Only Love In Dreams....

In real life: I've been having marital troubles and started falling out of love with my wife almost two years ago, after realizing that she was lying and keeping nasty secrets from me. We're still together, technically. We "tried to make it work" for over a year. Well, I tried to make it work while she kept making and breaking promises. I want a divorce - she doesn't. She "loves" me. I'm not in love with her at all anymore. We have another baby on the way, as our sex life hasn't ended. Still, I'm not attracted to her. I was "blinded by love" until I fell out of love with her, and now just looking at her disgusts me. I don't think she's ugly, but she just turns me off now. I guess I just see that person who hurt me. The only time we show affection is when one of us wants sex. She used to kiss me goodbye on her way to work each morning, and almost two months ago, that stopped...

In my dreams: I keep falling in love with people. Random people - no one in particular. It's always some weird fantasy world... One dream I can remember in particular was when I was on a roller coaster and sitting next to someone and then all the sudden we were holding hands. When we got off the roller coaster, it felt like I'd known that person for years - I guess in the dream, I did. We would kiss and hug and show each other affection. I felt attracted, loved, and so deeply in love. In the dream I had last night, my father and some guy I went to school with years ago were building some type of office building or something. Anyway, I saw this girl, and we were exchanging glances and smiling at each other. Apparently, we'd been friends for a long time, but all the sudden we were looking at each other differently. We'd fallen for each other. We were trying to find a way out of this place that was being built, and the whole time it was just like we were struggling to escape although getting out shouldn't have been a big deal at all. In the end, we got in her car and drove away... and my wife's alarm went off and woke me up.

When I'm having these dreams, I don't wanna wake up. It's starting to get annoying because once I wake up, I just spend the morning thinking about how lonely I am. My best friend has been awkward with my since my wife and I found out we're expecting our second baby. I think she was starting to get feelings for me.... because she was acting like it, and now she's just distancing herself. My wife and I are still just pretending to be a couple when we're really just acquaintances with benefits at this point. I'm having struggles with my family members. So, yeah, I'm lonely! But these dreams are really making it obvious to me, how lonely I am. What the heck do I do!?
CallumXD CallumXD
22-25, M
Jan 18, 2013