My Regrets

I regret not taking out the time to find myself before I started college. During my senior year I had an on and off relationship with a girl who used to get molested at home. Because of her situation I decided not to join the NAVY and instead opted to stay close to her to make sure she was safe. I had been molested as a child and knew how it felt. The thing is during the time I dated her that she didn't love or care for me like I cared for her. In fact she had cheated on me, started dating the guy she cheated on me with 3 days later and then cheated on that guy with me lying o us both. I cared for her alot back then but now I wish I just went straight into the NAVY. I had a job I really wanted and I think it would have given me time to grow, discover who I am and mature before starting college. But I went to college with a messed up mind and didn't do a swell as I could. People have different gifts you know,some people are really good looking, others are really funny, but I am really smart. But because of alot of things that occurred in my childhood I felt like for the longest time I couldn't focus on my studies. I still have a decent GPA which is a little above a B average and I have about a year to go but I wish I went into the military first and fixed myself before I went to college. I think I could have made it into one of those Ivy league schools if I didn't. To, be honest I always wanted to change the world and alleviate it from suffering. I had constructed a blue print to do so, but i didn;t execute becuase I was deeply depressed and lost as an individual. I know this is a poorly written and strange regret, but this is where I share unsaid things, and it eats at me.