My Love Life Over The Past Years

It all started out last summer, I had just gotten back home from the hospital. There had been a guy who asked me to kik him a while back (message him). So I got around to it. We were fast friends, laughing, telling jokes, teasing eachother. I think we both had a bit of a crush at first, but thought nothing of it. He started talking about cuddling and things, and after he said he wanted to kiss me, I was hooked. We video chatted some. It had been long distance. Somewhere along here, I fell in love with him. Not just the whole cliche teenage girl "love", it was true. My first true love. I'm not sure how long we dated...maybe 6 months. All was going well until I randomly clicked on a girl that commented on his picture. I was bored, and we had been talking less. Then I saw it. There were pictures of them, kissing, cuddling, you name it. I actually cried. I was completely broken. His argument? It didn't count as cheating, because we were never in a real relationship. Time went on, and we lost contact. After this I fell for another guy...and I made the worst mistake of my entire life. He was so perfect, so amazing. And he said all the right things. We only dated for a few weeks, then I left him :( he called me a dumb *****, ugly, worthless...i kept apologizing, asking for him back. i still feel bad for this. The night ended in me on the phone with the suicide hot line for him. After about a year went by, we regained contact. He said he loved and missed me. I told him the same. Things were good again. Until he met my best friend. They started texting, it was harmless at first, but it grew...they fell for eachother and hid it from me. I think they're still together now. That was very hard. I still love him a bit, and miss him very much :( After another few months, I was in a tecnical relationship. We kissed, dated, etc. but it wasn't official. He didnt want to make it official. I was fine with it, and then he told me he loved me. I started loving him back. Things got more serious. I could barely see him though. one day, i was on Facebook, and I saw his relationship status had changed. I got excited and thought that it meant he was finally announcing us to his friends. It was with another girl. I confronted him, and he told me he had no feelings for her, and that he did it so she wouldn't kill herself. He said he needed and loved me. I bought it. Then the next night...he told me he never loved me, and had actually lied to me about it so I wouldn't be all suicidal...I haven't slept since.