Betweentheskyandheaven...To understand my story and my worries I'd have to tell a lot...but I'll skip to present day and seek for your kind advise.
I was once in love, madly, truly, deeply. That man was my whole world and sadly is still somehow present in my life...However, I finally met a man with who I feel great and I'm starting to forget the one that broke my heart.
I have a lot of fears and doubts in my head, about my life, my future, my choices. One of my choices is this man that I'm starting to fall for... To understand me better and be able to advise me I'll tell you the story of how we met before telling my worries.
We met two month ago. We were both at our friends bar. I was sitting with a man that liked me but I had absolutely no interest in him. My man (let's call him J), was across the room with talking with the owner. I was looking around and I saw J looking at me, something made me smile to him and he responded with a smile as well. That man was so charmin so charismatic that his presents was spreading all around, it was hard not to notice him. It turned out that some of his friends set at the table next to mine, he came and took the place the closest to me. He was like a little boy, turning and twisting trying to look at me and make a contact. Then he spoke, asking where I was from, his smile seemed brighter then the stars. We exchanged few questions and he went back across the room to our common friend. Our friend introduced him to a very good looking woman and she was flirting with J. At some point he stopped turning and looking, so I thought maybe it's not ment to be. After sometime, he came up to his friends and stood really close to me, he said few things to his friends then looked at me and asked if he could sit next to me since there was no more place at his table. I agreed. We started talking, right away found a common interest. We spoke for over an hour, then he asked if I wanted to talk a walk. I said yes. We took his car and as most of men do, he had to show me his achievements. He showed me things he owns in our city (for work), buildings he is building and the house he is buying. That was cute and funny to see a man trying to show his achievements like that. Then we went to a small town near, stoped by the lake...and set on the bench, we spoke, watched the full moon and kissed until 5 in the morning. Then he brought me back to my car and we said good night. Two minutes after he called, saying he just wanted to hear my voice once again and asking to call him when i get back home.
Since that day we meet few times a week, except for when he has to travel. He calls me very often and gets angry if I miss his call and don't call back. Few weeks ago when we were making love he called me "my love" two times but I pretended not to hear. He gets angry that I don't share my problems and troubles with him (which are mostly financial) and wants to help me out. We go out for dinners and spend time alone. I feel very good and safe with him.. I'm starting to develop feelings for him, however, I'm scared that this relationship may have no future. To understand why I think so I have to tell a little more about him.
J is twice older then me, he was married before and his wife died...he still has her photos everywhere, although it has been a while since she passed away. I think he loved her dearly and might still feel a little bit of this love. They had 3 kids, two of which are 4 years older then me and one 2 years older. I know he is looking for a stable woman in his life but a relationship has to evolve somehow and I don't think that it is possible because of all of the reasons above. I know he prefers to have a relationship because the day we met I asked him who was the woman that was flirting with him, he said they just met and he said that he could have went with her, spent one night and never see her again but he preferred meeting me and enjoying a night of good conversation. On top of that he keeps asking and making sure I'm not seeing anyone else but him. Yet, I can't imagine if I'd ever have to meet his kids who are older then me and if he would ever be able to open up to someone else after his wife.
I'd really want this relationship to develop to something more and would appreciate your thoughts and advice.
Thank you very much!