I Have Ra

I was diagnosed in 1998.  Also have Fibromyalgia.  On methotrexate for years, also tried just about everything else.  Currently doing Orencia, can't use injectibles because Medicare doesn't cover much of the cost.  Every try paying a $1500/month copay on SSD?  Not possible.  If I go to the hospital for infusions, it gets covered.  What really drives me crazy is other people.  I am sick.  I am tired.  I have a disease.  So why does everyone seem surprised that I still don't feel well?  It is an added stress I don't need.  Leave me be.  I have had people tell me when I am done getting something out of being sick I will stop being sick.  Like you choose to feel this way?  And others who confuse RA with osteo and tell me take a tylenol like they do.  And all the foods one should avoid, tomatoes, and potatoes and on and on.  I know a lot of people are well meaning.  I know how helpless one feels not being able to help someone feel better.  My husband died of cancer and I could only watch.  But I didn't make him feel it was his fault he was ill.  I just need everyone to understand that sometimes I just feel like crap, and sometimes that lasts a while, if I am having a flare, and it isn't me being sorry for myself if I say just let me be ill today.  I can't pretend to be well to make you feel better.  I have a lot of family members who can only equate illness with something like a broken leg.  Once the cast is off, it is over.  They can't get chronic illness.  I dread being asked how I am.  I don't want to feel I have to hide.  I have enough to deal with.    I am looking for some advise.  I feel guilty for being ill and that is another stressor that is just compounding everything else.  Honestly, I have a good attitude.  My doctor says I am one of the strongest women she knows.  I am just tired of trying to be well for people who won't try to understand what my limitations are.
CandyMaggie CandyMaggie
51-55, F
3 Responses Jun 29, 2010

You know if someone told me 5 years ago i would be needing Brace's to help me walk i would have told you your crazy,,well crazy come Knock On My Door so i have a brace on my right foot& lag to help me keep walking, At the end of the month ill have one on my left foot&lag, I was diagnosed in 2007 with Rheumatoid Arthritis ya like i needed that, I force myself to try and do what i can everyday and that's not easy, You have good days and bad days so make the most of the better ones, Im just happy i have a great friend a great women a great wife that loves me as i am, Jesus my be my savior but Bobbi is my rock, i can aready tell the brace helps me walk a little Easier and to that i say thanks one day at a time thats all you can do one day at a time,,,

I was diagnosed with RA in February and just came to terms with it about a month ago. I understand how you feel. Being tired and out of breath all the time is enough a make a person feel helpless and alone. No one seems to really understand what is happening to your body and they act like your able to still do every day things. I force myself to get things done every day and that's not easy with a teenage daughter.

Hi, yours was the first story I read. I feel for you. I am not sick, my brother is. But I see him in pain more than half the time and only wish I could do something. He thinks that maybe he has other problems going on. So Im trying to find out what other RA patients deal with. You sound very much like he does. I think I should talk to him about logging in here himself. Does misery love company?<br />
Seems to me it may be nice to know you're not the only one.<br />
thanks for your story.