Who Am I?

I am 19 years old and was diagnosed with RA about a month or two ago. Before I was diagnosed I had come out of a terrible break up and was finally feeling great, and that I could conquer the world. When I was diagnosed with RA though, I felt so lost. I was in excrutiating pain and could bairly move. I was depressed all the time and although I am on medication, my life still feels at a stand still. My ankle is swollen up because of the arthrits and when i walk i limp. It hurts more than anything and the dr says i just need to wait for it to get better on its own. People stare and others even ask if im ok. It all just is so embarassing and I feel like a different person. I have absolutely no control over my body or the pain. There is noone in my family or even friends that understand the physical or emotional toll that RA is taking on me. People say they know how i feel because theyre hands hurt for a day or theyre feet hurt. They have NO IDEA and it makes me so angry that they think they have the type of pain I have. My whole body was in complete pain before my meds and now its slowly gone down. I just feel like ive lost faith not only in myself but in God. RA has made me bitter and I just wish I could be normal.
Alyxxlafs Alyxxlafs
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 11, 2012

I hear you. The biggest problem is that it's an invisible disease and no one really understands. A lot of people ask "how are you feeling, you look really good" when I know I feel like **** but it's just easier to say " yeah I'm ok as they really don't understand