Why Do I Feel That I Have To Run

This has to be short as I have a 3 year old to run after. But I have very strong feelings regarding commitment to the 'marriage" extreme. I have been diagnosed with panic/anxiety and PTSD. I have a feeling that these have something to do with it.

I have been engaged 3 times. Obviously not one made it to the date. And it was because of my decisions and fears that ended each one. 

My current relationship is with my best friend of 5 years. I am not sure if I am able to even follow through with this relationship any more. It is not him, per se, certain behaviors and actions that he has. Also, I am going through therapy for my emotional issues and have a strong feeling that this is contributing to commitment.

I feel that I am not capable of being with someone. Maybe trust is the problem? I just want to be healthy and to be able to give my children stability.

sanitycall sanitycall
31-35, F
1 Response Mar 1, 2010

@ pserean: I don't have problems getting contracts or anything like that. Though certain things appear to be "phobic" to me. I think I seem to attract what is not healthy, subconsciously. (Working on this) Buying clothes and things for myself, yeah I have a problem with that. I don't unless I have to, because it is for me and not my kids. My kids have needs that they can't supply, so I do. Cash is short for everyone, I suppose, so it makes sense at this point.<br />
I am going to have to look into this commitment phobia thing. Makes sense in a way.<br />
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@Tiannaleah<br />
I am going to try this as well. Pretty much anything at this moment will do. LOL I have to do something. I don't want to pass on something healthy. My kids deserve a healthy life too. :)