I Got To Meet The Worlds Worst Internist.....

I have two scars on the tips of my right ring and middle finger. I crushed my hand under a piece of iron and compound fractured the bones in the tips of both fingers. I go to the Emergency room in a remote area of a southern state. The internist wants to do surgery. I tell him, there is no way. I want an expert opinion. These are my fingers for Christ sake.

He gets hurt feelings, but calls in a trauma surgeon. And preps for the exam. He decides I must be in pain, as my fingers are the size and color of an overcooked bratwurst, and I am saying, "I'm in pain". so he decides to give me injections in the tips of my fingers. He sticks the needle right in the very tip of my swollen, crushed, broken, enflamed and bleeding finger, which causes my *** to reach out and bite a hole in the mattress I'm sitting on. Then he starts pushing the meds in and I pass out from the pain. I come to, and he has to do the other hand. Same result.

After the numbness finally starts, the "real" doctor walks in and starts working on me. He asks if the fingers are numb yet and I tell him, "Yeah, but the injection hurt much worse than breaking the finger".

He tells me, "that's odd, because the local anistethic that is swabbed on first to deaden the pain should have worked.

I say, "local anistethic?"

He says, "sure, the purple stuff they swabbed on first to deaden the pain. Otherwise, it is excrusiating, what with your nerve endinngs already in shock and your finger tips being sensitive".

So I say, "Maybe you should tell Doogie Houser out there about the purple stuff. He must have skipped class that day."

And that is the story of the two little jagged scars on my finger tips.
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Jan 9, 2013