I Cut Myself

i cut myself, and i still do. each day its getting worse. they are getting deeper and deeper. im a slow healer. people notice. they get scared. i cut when i feel numb. when the world is against me. when i'm not good enough. when i look in the mirror. many times. i like the rush that comes after the cut. so i keep doing it. its addicting. and each time i see it, i keep thinking its too shallow. that my pain is a lot deeper than that tiny little scratch there. my friends tried helping, but it did nothing but increase the pain, increase the misunderstanding between us. and unlike other cutters, i'm extremely suicidal. im too much of a p*ssy to actually kill myself, but ive contemplated it, imagined it, and even written suicide notes.

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1 Response Feb 19, 2009

oh hun.... i know how you feel.<br />
i feel the same way. i've slowly, rolled to stop on this train though, i think i've almost quit, <br />
keep trying though. <br />
life eventually does get better.