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Schizoaffective Disorder

i have shizoaffective bipolar.i usually just call it bipolar as ive done on this site till i saw your story.i didnt think anybody else had it.its an unsual disorder i feel and not very well undrestood by people or even some doctors.im on alot of meds,are you?.do you manage to hold down a job as i cant at the mo.its a shame when family and friends dont understand the illness and want you to pull yourself together.if it were that easy im sure we all would.life is pretty unpriditable even with the mediaction.i hate having to tell people im ill.i hate not being able to hold down a job.im a good mum though even though my husband left me 2 years ago.my illness put a strain on things.we remain best of friends though so im lucky there.i joined this site by luck.my illness makes my world a lonely placeand i can feel very cut off,but facebook and my space arent for me.im hoping to find comfort and support on ep,and hope i can help others also.dollydean

dollydean dollydean 41-45 6 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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You will find support here, feel free to add me. I suffer the same problems and am on six different meds for it. One of them is giving me one of the rare side effects so I have been in and out of exams lately and the last one an MRI on my head. Others don't understand because they just don't know...the only thing they can do is read about it or watch movies about it. I am just starting to get me mom to read up on it for my sakes, it's a start but it will never feel right. The future is unpredictable, we are living in our present with each second that passes our future is already here. We will all get through this, we will just be stronger than the normal people.

Reading your post helped me , im having difficulties at the moment, I have been with my partner for 2 yrs nearly and she is aware of my illness and she truly loves and cares for me , she is kind and supportive but for some reason i treat her like ****.I dont mean too im not a nasty person but i find she irritates me I feel we dont get on well but she does i keep telling her its over , I appologise and she has stuck by me every time , I have never done well in long term relation ships .im not on any meds at present my pdoc has just prescribed new ones for me but im having problems coming to terms the fact i need them or i even have this illness i think im ok (part of the illness) is it me??? I think i would be better being on my own I love her but why do "I" feel we not getting on when she does............is it part of my illness.sad and confused.

hi everyone...i would like some inlightment into this topic....and i would like to comment on your story..i dont know how long u have been married with the guy...but i have been married for almost seven years. five of these years i spent having problems with my husband and two years i have spent dealing with the depression i developed because of it. My guy has stuck with me through these two years because he tells me that he trully loves and cant see himself without me. When you are depressed like me...getting out of bed is a major chore...so when im at my worst i just stuck to the basics...bath for the kids...food for the kids...and my husband would sometimes just come home to a simple soup like noodle soup. Trust me when i say he has put up a lot..and its not your fault your guy left. It says when you are married in sickness and in health. He just didnt trully love you. Im happy that you are not angry with him. But dont blame his leaving on you. He actually probably has just added more stress on you....and made your condition much harder to deal with. So keep making friends on ep. and dont be hard on yourself...if u stop this ull have more energy for figuring out how to lead a better life...with your illness. (Accept the limitations and f*** anybody else's opinion) just keep working hard to somewhat have control of ur life...sharing your limitations with employers might get u more understanding. Just be a good worker when you are feeling well. Everyone has a hard time keeping a job in today's economy...and also that way people are. Just keep trying...if you fall of the horse...dust yourself off and giddy up again. Dont give up.

I call mine bipolar as well. I can't be bothered explaining to most people that it means bipolar plus schizophrenia. My family don't understand either. My Mum actually seems to think schizophrenia has something to do with having 2 personalities. I really can't be bothered explaining, to people who don't want to understand. It's a shame, because the lack of understanding has eroded a lot of trust.

I could feel the anger, pain & helplessness you are experiencing because of your predicament. may god give you the strength to cope with you life circumstances.

It took a lot for you to share this. May you develop this willingness into healing and peace in your life. My good wishes are with you.