This is the first time I've ever admitted this to anyone but I'm not sure what I should do. I think I'm going crazy. I hear things that don't seem to be there. It's usually the sound of a radio constantly changing stations. Some times, I think I hear voices but I reason that it's just me thinking at myself. I'm deathly afraid of demonic possession. I have to sleep with my bedroom door locked (despite the front doors being locked) and music playing to keep the demons from realizing I'm asleep. I've suffered from episodes where I feel paralyzed, and a demonic force is moving closer to me while I lay helpless. For a long time, I thought a ghost was haunting me, and playing pranks such as always moving the shower head facing outwards so that I soak myself whenever I first turn on the shower. I'm also deathly afraid of the bathroom...I think I'm afraid germs will converge on my body. I hate standing in showers, despite how clean they are, because I'm afraid to. I want to get help but every time I consider it, either myself or voices dissuade me with various reasons. Ex: what if they lock you up forever, what if nothing's wrong with you and you look like an idiot. I always feel like people think I'm an idiot, and I have to prove that I'm not, leading to awkward situations. I always think that people are plotting against me. I've been in an interracial relationship for two and a half years and some times wonder if my partner is secretly racists and using me as a social experiment even though zero evidence has been presented to even make me think that. My "crazy" symptoms always always get worse later in the evenings and nights. Is that normal? Any advice....
lpw2528 lpw2528
26-30, M
1 Response Jun 26, 2012

A lot of people say their crazy symptoms get worse at night. I asked my friend whether she hears voices more when she's tired like I do, she said yes.<br />
Are you diagnosed schizoaffective? The way you tell it you sound more schizophrenic because schizoaffective involves mania or severe depression, often both...