So Sad And Angry...

After giving birth to my first daughter, I get anxious then started to hear these voices in my head that they are reading my thoughts, controlling my emotions like they have been paid for to know whats on my mind. After some time, the doctor diagnosed me with Bipolar disorder because my husband said that I have times when I am totally depressed, very angry and extremely happy. I have been so angry with all the people around me and to my psychiatrist, I always think that my psychiatrist sent out people to annoy and irritate me to check if I will be anxious again. I feel that my family and people around me ganged up on me to make me crazy. Not until now, my husband and I talked heart to heart, he said that I am the only one who can help myself..He can do whatever he can to understand and support me but he said I have to help myself. Recently we watched an actress battling from bipolar disorder and she talked about how she had recovered. She said she studied herself, when does the anxiety starts. She said that is the only way she helped herself, to study how she behaves in situations and to think logically. I told my husband, I will do the same because I want to be better for my family, especially for my daughters...I know it will be hard but I know in God's will, I will be better...
ThirdWorld ThirdWorld
36-40, F
2 Responses May 21, 2013

I know how you feel with the "bipolar"... I spent most of last week wide awake for days on end actually scared of sleeping because I was terrified of coming down... at the same time didn't really think I was that "high" anyway. When I'm "high" I just feel the way I'd prefer to feel all the time... know what I mean. I've only had one really severe manic episode, but loads of little ones... It's the depression that is the pits!

Medication can do wonders for that, too. You just have to apply yourself to taking it every day.
I would steer clear of the anti-depressants that they are all so quick and willing to offer, and ask for the mood stabilizer. Just the mood stabilizer. You have a chemical imbalance, you need a balance of everything, not a seratonin overload [which is what a lot of bipolar folks get when given an anti-depressant]. The less pills the better, too, because it is much easier to just have one or two pills to remember over 6 or 7 every day.
Cut down your caffiene and sugar intake to little or none.
Eat more protein.
Get 8 hours of sleep, exactly. No more [depression], no less [mania].
Cut your work hours, if you work ridiculous amounts of overtime.
Set up a schedule and stick to it, but leave some wiggle room so you don't start feeling overwhelmed.
Do not do this alone. Schizoaffective can turn into schizophrenia, and they both develop from bipolar that went undiagnosed, unmedicated, ect.
If you don't like what one psychiatrist tells you, go to another, and another, until you find someone that can help you.
Just some ideas.

Thanks WhoAmI613! That gave me an idea on what to talk about with my doctor. Right now im in low dose of prozac & 1 mg of haldol. I am lucky I have my husband & both our families with me on this struggle.

Good Advice WhoAmI613.... Third world keep a journal about what triggers your manic and depressive episodes, this will help you develop a lifestyle to control those areas of your life, such as staying away from crowds or not watching certain tv shows. Stay in touch. Also find a good therapist. :)

Hi freedompride! Sounds good, I will do that.. Thanks! Please keep the advices coming, I appreciate it all! I also wish you all luck in our battles!