Forms And Is This Really True?

So I got a pile of forms to fill out from ss. They were all about my daily activities and interactions with others. It took me more than 4 hours to finish them. Things like how have my normal activities changed since my illness apeared, or in my case worsened. What do I do all day? How often do I leave my home?

So after I finished each page I would read it over..... And whoa! I didn't realize how completely insane I sound. Lmao.

I was advised by a good friend to apply for disability (hence the forms), and she sais 'say this and say that and you'll get disability in no time'. I said 'why don't I just tell the truth? I mean the truth is far worse than anything you just told me to say.'

Do crazy people know they are crazy? I mean, would I really recognize that there is a problem? When I get paranoid, and I just KNOW this 'thing' is happening, it's real. Then later or the next day I feel so stupid because I know it was rediculous! But I'm told that a true schozophrenicwouldn't know that or feel that way. All I know is that when I was working it came out as work related situations. Now that I'm home all the time it's all about my homelife and my son, and this is a very bad thing. I'm just ready for my evaluation.
FellidayaFiresong FellidayaFiresong
31-35, F
3 Responses Jan 20, 2013

At first, I didn't know I was Schizophrenic. I thought everyone around me was crazy and rude. I thought that hearing voices, but not seeing bodies to match was normal. I knew it was normal. I was hospitalized for a long time and was able to attend counseling sessions. I was very violent and still can be so if I miss a dose of my meds. Do I still think I am normal? Not after the way I realized people talk to me. I wet on with my life. I am in college now and doing very well. I believe it is possible to be schizophrenic and know it. Hang in there and do the best you can. We all support you here.

Schizophrenia entered my life at 14 so I guess I wouldn't remember any forms. I hope your situation works out. If I were going back and forth with the hallucinations in my head I would have major problems filling out a really long form. I think when I learned that the things I heard weren't real was when I became more able to function. Meds don't work for me so I have to reason things out.

The thing with me though is that I see and hear on 3 levels. One is reality, one I believe is real, and one I know isn't. But I'm told that the fact that I know one isn't real means I'm not schizophrenic. Is that true?

I don't think that it's true that if you know certain things aren't real you aren't schizophrenic. The disease is definitely still disabling even if you know the hallucinations aren't real. Maybe someone on medicines that worked really well could work, but it would be hard to have the focus a persons employer's would demand from them while having hallucinations. Actually I had one medicine that seemed to make it so that I went a few minutes without having any hallucinations and then I would have hallucinations that weren't as loud. Bit it also cause severe anxiety so that I could barely sit still long enough to brush my teeth or do dishes.
I only seemed to get that way when I was standing.

Who told you you aren't schizophrenic if you know the hallucinations aren't real?

My mom and brother tell me I'm not schizophrenic. He has been diagnosed and she hasnt though we all know she is in denial. Thet tell me the fact that I know I have a problem means that I'm not crazy... irony not lost on me.

Sounds rough. Well I guess you could say having hallucinations doesn't make you "crazy" If you believed they were real that would be a little crazy. I would think most people think they are real at first because they sound real and nobody expects to start having hallucinations. I really don't like words like that very much though.
There's no derogatory term for somebody with cancer or diabetes, so why should people get called an insulting name just because the disease is in their brain?
That sort of thing causes people to be ashamed to get help.
Not that I feel the Psychiatric Community has helped me directly, being hospitalized has helped force me to realize the hallucinations aren't real, and knowing if I couldn't keep it together I might spend 3-7 weeks in the behavioral ward might have been the kick in the pants I needed at the time.

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<p>Its a "Catch 22" trick. If you can fill out the forms, you must be sane. If you are crazy you can't fill out the forms, and therefore don't qualify.</P>

It is apparent that I had trouble filling them out. I also had to call and get new forms sent to me because I lost them and forgot until I got a letter saying they were due withing a timeframe that was alsmost over. I doubt they got there on time. Oh well. I guess we'll find out.