People Ask Me...

I only share about my disorder with people I trust the most. It isn't uncommon for them to ask me what I see.
I see tall black figures. I call them creatures. Maybe 6'4 in height, but they never stand straight up. They always hunch over. They are lean and always breath heavy as if they just got finished running. Only one has a tale. He is the one with red eyes. The whites of their eyes are black. The second one has blue eyes, and the third has green eyes. They all have very prominant spines. From their spines comes 7 red stripes. They never talk. They stand there or sometimes walk slowly towards me. Sometimes they stand over my shoulder.
People usually respond with,"That sounds demonic!" They don't understand. I don't always see bad things. Sometimes I see my aunt's cat. Sometimes I see people. I try not to talk to people unless I see someone who I know is real speak to that person first.
Then they get really brave and ask me what I hear.
I hear screams and angry voices. I hear whispers, crying, and other things. I hear soft and gentle voices. I feel people setting on the bed next to me. I feel hands in my shoulders.
I feel okay. I know that my God has a plan for this. I just have to take up my cross as Jesus did when he carried his up Golgotha. I always pray for help and eventually it comes. Jesus took a harsh beating. Then, as he walked up the hill, a stranger helped him to carry his cross.
It is funny how some people who aren't Christians ( not all non-Christians tell me this) tell me that my believing in God is probably a result of my schizophrenia. It is also funny how some Christians (not all Christians) tell me that the way I think and the hallucinations are demonic. I just wish that people could grasp schizophrenia (without the suffering) for what it really is. A sick mind having fun.
mstenorsaxplayer mstenorsaxplayer
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 24, 2013

I see dark figures as well, but they are more just silhouettes of people, I call them "shadow people". I see a lot of disturbing things sometimes, like blood running down my arms or peoples heads exploding... but I see peaceful things too sometimes, like flowers growing all around me. When I tell people who ask about what I experience I try to sound nonchalant about it, that way they kind stay calm(er) about it as well. I like answering peoples questions because I feel like it's important for them to hear stories first hand from a Schizophrenic then believe all the stigma about us.

But anyway longer story shorter, I know where you are coming from. :)

I really hate when people think that people with schizophrenia think about what you see on tv. They think of screaming, kicking, and fighting. It doesn't work like that.

Yeah or that we are all going to be murderers or incredibly unstable. That's why it's important to educate people....

I have this skitzie thing going on with me too, I hear voices. But these voices soon made themselves apparent as being mine. Maybe you can have a psychic interpret the meaning of these figures?

I know they are just hallucinations, so I don't think I need a psychic. I think that would just confuse me even more. Thanks for the advise though :)