Am I Doomed!!

so i havent gotten laid in the last 4 months. im sick of ************. i believe that pleasuring yourself does u harm as u dont work towards meeting new people. yesterday i met a girl yest eve. she came over to my house. we cuddled for a bit but i felt she wasnt really into me. not being able to stop this thought from entering my mind i started to act weird and look lost. obviously he wanted to go. she kept saying she wa tired so i finlly dropped her home. when i met her yest,  couple of friends were with me. the gf of my friend became friendly with thi girl and invited her t a friends restaurant to day to hang out. im  a nervous person. i prefer to hang alone with a girl then in a big group. im ashamed of people listening to what i say to girls. i feel i have no game. i also regard myself as a coward. im scared of people judging me. i as very very popular and cool in school. obviously it was all fake. but it went to my head and till today i havent been able to deal with it. its like i know i need to be calm and truthful and not be ashamed of anything or anyone . but im the opposite. i dont know why. its almost like something in me is preventing me from being me.  this girl spoke to everyone but me today. im used to being the one who always goes home alone. but it really hurts. because i know that other people who r supposed to be my friends dont really care for me, they are selfish just like i am and they will put me down again and again to come out winning, sometimes i feel that i thinking strange. but these strange thoughts are accompanied by clarity................... when people say mean things to me i get stunned.. its like i can see myself trapped in my head. i can feel the feeling of emptiness but i cant do anything abt it.            anyone catching my drift???? 

kingkrops kingkrops
26-30, M
3 Responses Feb 8, 2010

dude this has nothing to do with schitzofrenia, delete it and repost it under I am a horny bastard.

ropin texan, i havent been diagnosed by a therapist yet because i dont think that pills are the answer to schizophrenia or its symptoms. but i feel so blank that i cant even explain what i really feel. my mind takes me into strange places every-time i try to converse with someone or sometime just for no reason. one minute im feeling fine and the next minute im frozen with anxiety. my thoughts think for themselves and i feel trapped in my head. i feel that people have a hidden agenda against me and im stuck in a circle of negativity. i have read that these are the symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia. correct me if im wrong..... also i cannot take the control i need to take on my lif both socially and just generally...........

What does this have to do with having schizophrenia?