I Have Schizotypal Personality Disorder

I Was Diagnosed With Schizotypal Personality Disorder

By: imokimok

Written on May 23rd, 2009

Hello.

I was diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder about three years ago. For 2 1/2 of those years I was on medication and in recent months I decided to go off of it.

Before my diagnosis life was pretty unbearable. I decided to go to psychotherapy once a week and have continued to do so.

My symptoms are pretty severe...It's pretty much the constant idea that people are out to get me. So I have a very difficult time with friendships/relationships, I can't trust, and I always think that everyone is plotting against me. Sometimes these thoughts escalate to things like people who aren't even related to each other are plotting against me. My fears run the gamut from they want to embarrass me, to they want to harm me physically, and many times over the course of the years I have feared for my life. So basically I'm afraid all the time plagued with these types of thoughts.

For instance I went out with a girl the other night and the whole time I was expecting to be robbed or beat up etc. Needless to say, the date didn't go well.

My symptoms are more severe without medication, but I have read in many places that medication isn't necessarily a solution for what I have.

I've been having a very hard time socially. And I have also lost my desire to fight it.

I'm here to find out if there is anyone with the same diagnosis and similar symptoms that can share how they are dealing with it, or overcame it.

I hope someone can help.

By: imokimok

Age: 36-40

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2 responses

brickletoss

The fact is, you're aware of what thoughts are excessively paranoid and "not normal." Even if it seems insurmountable now, if you keep going to therapy, you eventually WILL get better. You're probably already seeing that therapy isn't just about identifying the paranoid thoughts-- it's about getting in touch with your self, and building up your self-confidence so you feel less vulnerable and more genuinely in control.

I have SPD, too. Though paranoia is not a big feature in me, I have a lot of the classic symptoms. Everything has improved over the last four years of therapy-- my ability to not by tossed around by the emotions of myself and others; my feelings of vulnerability; my social anxiety; my tendency to worry that others hate me; and, most importantly, a feeling of being an individual who is contained in my body and head and controlled by my own self.

Your paranoia won't fade by addressing it directly... it will fade as you repair other parts of yourself and become a whole, healthy individual, who comes to find that his mind just no longer needs paranoid thinking as a part of the way it interacts with the world.

Aug 6, 2012
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imokimok

Actually, I have and I didn't have a good experience with it. What happened was that I became more introspective, more paranoid of people, which made me more aware of my condition. I've tried drinking. That was a complete mistake...

I guess I'm hoping to find out how people with the same diagnosis deal with these symptoms on their own.

Thank you though.

May 24, 2009
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