Dressing Up Box

I have a suit case in the loft of my house. It comes out when my wife goes away for a few days. I love all the garments that I have stashed in there, each has something special. I have a green long flowy hippy skirt, a short brown leather skirt, white flared trousers, a white satin slip, a black spider web top and a very tight pair of skinny fit jeans. I can pair these things up with other stuff in my wardrobe to make up an outfit.


The strange thing is, I used to have a corset in my secret box, but it's now in my wadrobe. I recently wore it to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I told my wife I found it in a second hand (charity) shop. Of all the things in my secret box the corset must be the most..... well the hardest thing to admit to..... I think. Yet the rest of the box is still secret.

Why can't I tell her?

Heellover Heellover
36-40, M
7 Responses Feb 18, 2010

I know what it's like to feel one way on the inside but have to put on a different face to the rest of the world. I want to help others never have to feel like this and let them know they are now alone. With the Producers of the show Intervention, I am casting a new documentary series about people who live double lives. In the documentary TV series we will explore the worlds of everyday people who are living a double life and how, through the help of a therapist, their lives change after they expose their secret.
 If you are keeping a major secret from the ones you love the most and would like some help sharing your story, please email a brief desc<x>ription of your situation to:<br />

Makes sense to me, but I'm not the one that needs convincing.

That's exactly what my wife said. I have reassured her that I'm not challenging her at all. I make sure I compliment her as she deserves. I tell her how I see her, how elegant and sexy she looks and I compare how lovely she looks with how lovely I feel. I don't expect her straight away to think I look sexy, but she can't escape that I am lovely to touch, and she does appreciate how it makes me feel.<br />
<br />
I also explain that it isn't just a sex fetish, or just an erotic turn-on, but that it's a "balanced gender" feeling, an empathy with how women feel about themselves, and she has noticed a fresh intimacy as we journey on.<br />
<br />
And I reassure her how much I love my **** and its hardness and what I can do with it and how I love making love with her. And how I love her breasts and how beautiful her ***** is. So it's still a complimentarity, but with a new empathy. She needs to be the real woman and be fully appreciated. I just need to be free to be the feminine man. And because I'm not running off to express it elsewhere, she feels safe.

Thank you both. Seriously, I cried reading both your comments. <br />
I know she isn't happy with it, she has told me so, but she has also said that she is less happy about me lieing about it. She knows about my heels and tollerates that to some extent, but then when I tried to explain about loving corsets too, it was almost like she didn't wand to hear it. She has said before that it's like I'm taking the sexy away from her. That she won't want to dress sexy coz she'll be thinking that I'm wanting the clothes she is wearing, not her. I've tried to explain that it's different, but it doesn't make sense to me. How can I tell her what I want if I don't know myself?

Has she ever said anything that makes you feel she would be outraged/disgusted? What did she say about the rocky horror night? If you have no reason to think she would react badly, then maybe Fullcircle is right, and you should share it. As long as you do it carefully with consideration for her and certainly not full in her face, then you might gain a lot from it. But you should also do so in the full realisation you could also lose as well. Only you can decide what to do, so it's not so so much why......its more a case that you know why you did or did not....The only word of encouragement is that I have never been totally rejected by girls I have told, and it's taken a very heavy weight away. But only you know how important it is to you.

Maybe time you shared it, with humility, honesty and love? Your need to let go, be yourself and seek understanding?? Not easy, I know. I got there, from my wife saying she was frightened to look in my "secret drawer" to eventually, taking it out and going through everythging with her, telling her what I felt about it, and how it was really important to me and being all that I am.