Drives Me Crazy

After talking to a friend on EP, about SPD, I found this group. Neat to see how everyone else handles their SPD. I'm 35 yrs old and have SPD and so does my 14 year old son. My son likes the crazy noise and commotion and talks constantly, if he's not talking, he is making noises...like humming to the tone of the vacuum cleaner. Oppositely, I can't take any of that. Certain clothes drive me crazy. I can't stand tight things, so I normally wear sweats. Everyday I wear sunglasses; I couldn't ever go without them. There are so many things that bother me, I couldn't list them all. It's hard to hide it at times when I don't want people knowing. I was at Target, cashing out and so many people were around me and the noise was so pressing!! The cashier started talking about this new debt card charge, and as he was talking, the noises and stimuli around me just pressed in so hard, his mouth was moving, but I didn't hear a word. I couldn't take 5 more seconds of standing there! When I got outside, I couldn't even open my eyes! The sun was painfully bright that it made my eyes water. I have many awkward things that wouldnt bother most people, but send me in orbit! I can't tolerate sticky hands at all! It's like total torture. We went to the mall yesterday and we were sitting in the food court eating. I didn't want to go to begin with, but I realize that I can't make my family suffer. The lights and music, the people talking and walking by, the constant nonstop roar inside my head sent me into a state of anxiety. I was attempting to eat w my family...HA! Totally didn't happen. My throat was tense and closed up around my food and I couldn't swallow my food. I was looking around in awe, watching all the peaceful and undisturbed people, wishing to be like them. As my family ate their meals, I tried to discreetly slide my hands behind my hair and plug my ears. The stimuli was too much for me to take in, I had to leave. Once I got in the car, even the sound of the blinker click, sounded like a jackhammer and my sunglasses drove me crazy resting on my face, but the sun was too bright to remove them. Living w SDP is a challenge, but I don't have a choice.
GawdsGirl GawdsGirl
31-35, F
4 Responses Dec 15, 2012

This is what my experience is normally like when I go shopping or when I'm working in a classroom:
Walking into the dollar tree or any store, the atmosphere is a whole lot of bright lights, bright colors, and noise. Walking down the aisles, so many items on each shelf, that it is overwhelming. I forget what I came to the store for, and even when I mentally tell myself, "Elizabeth, you're hear for baby wipes, ONLY buy the wipes!", I don't have the mental capacity or impulse control to just buy those wipes. I see stuff, and I'm like, ooh, I'm going to buy that, even when I don't really want or need it. I honestly loose my head! The room becomes fuzzy, I become dizzy and unbalanced and extremely fatigued and weak. I feel like crying. I feel helpless.

As an adult with SPD (and similar sensitivities to you), I absolutely feel your pain! It sounds like you'd hugely benefit from occupational therapy - and also psychotherapy for the anxiety. As adults, we've taught ourselves how to fear the overwhelming burden of sensory stimuli. There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of - you just have a much harder go of it than most (as do all previously undiagnosed adults with SPD!) You are not alone, and things can get better with a sensory diet and some self-acceptance. I have recently begun telling family and friends, and teaching them what it means to be me, as well as how to love and care about someone with SPD. We're pretty wonderful people! spdlife.org is a great site for adults with SPD - my friend Dan runs it. I keep a blog at comingtosenses.blogspot.com and can be found tweeting about adult SPD on Twitter @coming2mysenses. I hope you reach out and find support in our quickly-growing community. STAY STRONG! Rachel

I have been an irritating annoying student and a slow learner. I always ask questions, and I have to be taught something several times before I can finally understand it. This has been the reality all throughout my elementary school, high school and college days. My siblings and school peers lose their patience with me, and dislike me. I sense this, and it adds to my frustration with myself, my fear and anxiety around my peers in social situations and relationships and my negative self-esteem. Why all this? What is the cause?!

What is the cause of my academic slowness and subsequently social awkwardness? I have learning struggles because of my diagnosed Auditory Processing Disorder: http://www.bbbautism.com/auditory_processing_disorder.htm. I wish for you all to be aware of this learning disability so when you recognize it's symptoms in school children, your own children and myself, you will not have annoyance and disdain toward us individuals, but patience, empathy, understanding and the right tools to assist and interact with us.

SPD ... Dumb typos LOL

I am the strongest person I know. Only people close to me know I have SDP. I've got mad coping skills LOL