Overcoming the Diagnosis

I've had depression and anxiety for a long time, but it was not treated until I was hospitalized for suicidal "ideation" with a history of attempts.  Only then did someone tell me what was wrong and that it wasn't my fault.  A person with depression cannot just "buck up" and deal with it.  The disease doesn't work that way.

I also experienced what I called meltdowns, but they told me they were actually panic attacks.  They told me that I had an anxiety problem along with the depression and that certain things would trigger certain reactions. 

It was great to have answers and have the hope that maybe I wasn't crazy. 

I still struggle even today, though I do have a better understanding of what is going on.  I am learning how to work around it all.  I avoid those things that trigger panic attacks and am trying to learn how to have a life beyond it all.  Some days I don't want to get out of bed and face the day.  My mind plays games asking me "what's the point" and so on.  Sometimes it is too overwhelming.  I have good days and bad days now.  But the underlying fears and heartache never go away completely.

Tigress35 Tigress35
31-35, F
Jun 20, 2007