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Getting Rid Of Negative Thoughts. I Want To Share With You Why I Think There Is Hope.




I shared this in another group, but I think it fits here too. I am not eloquent, nor do I write well. Maybe my thoughts are all over the place..But I still want to share with you something I found tonight.

It seems that no matter how much self-help resources inspire me when I read them, the feeling of happiness and serenity doesn't stay long. My feelings of self-love and acceptance goes away the next day. I would read up articles on mental wellness and inspirational videos about depression, self esteem issues, and social anxiety. I would feel energized and inspired to overcome my struggles with low-self esteem, but the next day, I would be feeling down again. After a while, this got repetitive and even after I took natural stress relief products  so to balance the hormones and improve seratonin levels, it did not improve my mood. I felt frustrated and disappointed with myself, until tonight.

I realized that maybe this is because I haven't gotten rid of my ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) No matter how much something I read, watch, or listen  inspires me, it will not truly heal me unless I change my long term negative thoughts. Often I do not catch myself thinking these negative thoughts and I feel depressed and unhappy again. Ultimately, my negative thoughts would take over my feelings of inspiration and peace. So I learned that no matter how many inspiring things I find, I believe there aren't any shortcuts when it comes to healing myself. I think there is a solution, however, and that solution is myself. I have to heal myself. And to do that, I have to deal with myself. To face my problems. I can't repress my feelings any longer. In order to deal with these negative emotions and fear, I have to feel them as they come to the surface so that they can weaken and dissipate.  I think that we cannot rely entirely on someone else or an external source to pull us through our problems. We should ask for help of course, but ultimately - we are responsible for ourselves. Nobody can change our thinking for us except for ourselves. If we are able to change our thinking, we can find peace.

My favorite quote is a Buddhist saying that goes something like, "There is no east or west in the sky. People create these distinctions and believe them to be true. All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become." In other words, we are what we think. And what we think determines our happiness from the way we see things.

So if you are wondering how to get rid of your negative thoughts, here is what I found:

First I read this: http://www.mkprojects.com/fa_emotions.html

and after I saw videos of Byron Katie's The Work on youtube, I did this: http://www.thework.com/thework.asp

I want to tell you I believe it is possible

Honestly, my intention isn't to advertise, but to share what I think is really helpful. I'm not very good at explaining it and I am not a professional. But I think you dont have to be a professional to heal yourself and and to help others.

After I did this, my chest felt a bit lighter and so I wanted to share this on EP. Hopefully this helps anyone who is also struggling with themselves. It is pretty broad and can help anyone in general. Cheers!


infinitenao infinitenao 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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Good thoughts and references. Here is my story/experience - would love your thoughts:



I am a 52 year old man, have been suffering from depression and anxiety (officially) for the past 15 years, when I began seeking help. Starting about 20 years ago, I became so frustrated with my career, frustrated with stress, frustrated with social situations, and feeling extremely inadequate and unhappy. This all despite a fairly successful career, a great marriage, 2 new children - on paper a great life. I was diagnosed with depression started the long path of finding the "right" medication. Never happened. I put my life on hold because I bought into the diagnosis that I had a disease. This only made things worse, my isolation great, my self hatred greater and my growing sense of hopelessness unbearable. I got fired/laid off from my last job about 9 years ago and my wife had to go back to work, leaving me the sick father to be the stay at home dad to take care of my 3 children. I was moody, resentful, negative and very unhappy. I gained a ton of weight. I continued all sorts of therapy and medications, had some luck losing weight, but it was essentially because I added adderall(speed) to my medication list. My wife is extremely frustrated with my inactivity, my appearance and my general bummer attitude - not even close to the guy she married 27 years ago. She has lost respect and love for me (my words) - yet we coexist sort of as decent roommates. My negativity has me so wound up in self doubt, self hate and feelings of worthlessness, I am essentially frozen. I can't get out of my own way to exercise, or look for a job or do anything because I have a million reasons why I will fail or humiliate myself and why expose myself to any more pain than I am already in. I love my wife, I love my kids and hate the man I have become for them. I think that the only reason that I go on living is because of the pain I know I would cause them if I were to ever decide to quit trying. I am currently on cymbalta and sleep meds to counter the cymbalta at night. I am also seeing a Cognitive Behavior guy that is trying to help with my anxiety through exposure....I've tried it before and am not optimistic. I guess I am wondering if anyone has a similar story and has had any success turning their life around. My therapist says that he has had patients that have "made progress" and have learned to live better lives. My problem is that I don't know if better is enough - I want what I had. I look forward to hearing from others.

ThankYhank you for reading it! Where there's a will, there's a way. It is possible to heal yourself, provided that you know your negative thoughts are lying to you. We aren't as odd as we think we are.. If that makes sense :)