I Feel Anxious Most Of The Time

Ever since I was young I have had anxiety. Everybody used to say I was shy but it turns out I had anxiety. My doctor diagnosed me with social anxiety but it's not. Although he is a doctor I know myself better than he does. I definately have general anxiety dissorder as I feel anxious nearly all the time whether there is anybody about or not. It does not help the anxiety if there are people about but I will usually go into a social situation where I am already feeling anxious just for no reason. Sometimes I dont feel anxious and on occassions I have moments where I feel really confident and feel so at ease and think why can't I feel like this all the time, it's so easy but will slip out of it sooner or later. For example I usually have trouble even holding eye contact with a pretty lady say walking through town or on the bus or whatever but when I'm in this confident mode I feel like a totally different person. For example I was in town yesterday in my confident mode and was sitting down in a bank waiting for my friend and I kept getting eye contact with this pretty lady and smiled to her and she smilled back and my whole body language was different to how it usually is. I felt so in control and confident and that I could have easily chatted her up. The only thing is that I'm rarely like that so if I did meet somebody like that and where to meet her again I would be a totally different person and not the same person to who she met. I was wondering If anybody else had similar experiences or any advice or whatever.

wendywolfman wendywolfman
3 Responses Aug 3, 2010

thanks guys. Your comments have helped me out

the reason you feel confident sometimes and shy other times is that social anxiety, or anxieties in general aren't constant. It only kicks in to effect when you are focusing on it. If you are in a room full of people and you are enjoying yourself then you wont feel it, but if you are sitting there thinking about the fact that you have anxiety it will absolutely happen. I have the very same problem and it takes many forms, not just in a social situation. For example, I also allow myself to sometimes have performance anxiety. Even with my wife whom I have been with many many times, I sometimes think about weather or not I am performing as I should and then I go limp. Same thing happens when you are at a party and think about it too much, you go limp and loose your confidence in yourself. The best advice for this condition is to try to keep your mind busy as best you can and if you feel like your focusing too much on your anxiety, try to fixate on something else in your head that is enjoyable. Anxieties are hard to deal with, but you can beet it if you can always remember a very important saying, "picture everyone in the room naked and laugh at them"... what that really means is, if you start believing that everyone else is there to entertain you, you wont feel as if you are there to entertain them.

lol I was the same way. Even now, sometimes I would feel confident but then it slips away. This usually happens I'm at a restaurant full of people. And I used to be afraid of guys whenever I go shopping or something and I wanted to hide. That brought even more embarrassing attention to myself. Nowadays, I just ignore anybody and listen to my sony mp3 pla<x>yer without a care for people around me lol. Hm, maybe you can try talking to a friend you feel comfortable with and try practice making eye contact with them. And I dk if this will work on you, but whenever I get really anxious, I take slow deep breaths and I tell myself how I should act around other people, in my case, be calm and stop bringing attention to myself by acting weird haha. I hope it helps!