Lonely Lost And Non Exsistant Life

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Hello everyone

My social anxiety began way back in the first days of secondary education here in the uk I believe it begun then as i had a very difficult time adjusting to the changes of a new school and lots of new faces just threw me but also it was deep inside that i personally wasnt very happy at all. I have never found it easy to have a circle of friends or have good close friends either. I spend lots of time alone and i mean lots not just a hour or two HOURS and i feel very alone indeed.

its not exactly improved as ive grown older ive become far more reclused and pefer to be alone and even walking up the street fills me with dread or going to the local shop for some milk or bread.


my family arent what i call supportive they are a very comparing set of parents with two very high flying brothers  so most of the time i feel overwhelmed by what their expectations are and i just cant rise to there expectations which really does hurt inside.

I would love to be able to have a circle of supportive friends and friends that are real friends not just on the internet in reality too but i feel so powerless to change the circle im in and feel safer to be in it than outta it.


i admit i get very bored being so lonely and lost at times as i really dont have the skills to go and make friends easily.



:( any advice would be helpful.

xxx
sweetcaringgemuk sweetcaringgemuk
31-35
3 Responses Aug 12, 2010

aw, i know how you feel. i have an older brother who is pretty normal, while im a hermit too...y parents are putting more pressure on me to get a job and stuff....im 20 btw

Hello! I've been there too. I moved around quite a bit when I was younger - 9 times so far! And what with changing schools so much, I got really reclusive. I felt completely awkward in social situations, and like you, sometimes I even dreaded going into the store to buy things!<br />
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Eventually I realized that the problem was that I just didn't have enough confidence in myself. I didn't love myself, so I didn't see any reason that other people would like me either. I guess I figured out that I needed to change myself, but I didn't know what to change, and felt powerless about some things that are just out of my control. So I just started with the little things, like getting a new haircut, changing my style of dress, listening to music I've never heard before, reading new books, picking up a casual new hobby.. basically just trying new things, even things I never would have thought I'd liked. I surprised myself! I found the things that I didn't like about myself, things that I wasn't confident about, and did whatever it takes to change these things. I also tried to be more aware of what's going on around me, keeping up with the latest news, taking note of what people do in social situations, what people talk about, etc. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE!! Eventually I became more confident in myself, and am turning into someone I can finally be comfortable with. :)<br />
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Once I was more comfortable with myself, I became more comfortable with other people, because I know that when they look at me, they are seeing the person that I've been working hard to improve!<br />
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I still have the most ridiculous social anxiety, and still get the occasional dread at upcoming social situations. But I think I've been improving during the last two years! If I can do it, I know you can too. Good luck!! :)

It is good you could write about yourself and have some understanding of yourself.<br />
Most of us who feel like you don't particularly like ourselves very much and I think some self help group could help you. Reading is quite helpful . Books about building up ones confidence could be a start.<br />
I think by finding this sight it is a start and I wish you luck in learning to love yourself.....