It Can Make You Crazy!

I myself used to have a real wild spirit and I would make people laugh, go hang out, dancing dinners...but lately, FEAR!!! Paralyzing fear that keeps me stuck on the couch, in the house, afraid to step outside!! I was not always like this, I used to be very social until I gained what feels like a ton of weight. I also feel it was when I lost my car a couple of years ago that just totally wiped any social possibilities out. I reverted back to biking and shopping on my bike. I was unable to buy clothes that would fit right or that I could even afford, because my son gets the very best of everything, and that means I don't. So with the weight gain and no decent clothing, my home has become my safe haven, something I haven't always had. But it also has become my refuge and a prison to a degree that I have made. I am always very anxious when it comes to grocery shopping, and get very flushed while my heart races and I feel as if I will pass out! I sweat until it rolls down my face and my whole body, and then I am embarrassed and MORE anxious! I want a life, and I have faith, but lately my anxiety has slowed somewhat, but I know my appearance and the lack of even a beat up car for shopping and going to the YMCA would be such a blessing, and my anxiety would be less.
prettywomanNautumn prettywomanNautumn
56-60, F
4 Responses Feb 15, 2011

Hi ladies I am in the same boat too. I am worried for my son he is experiencing this too. I wish you guys were here to talk to and help each other. You can write to me anytime.

WOW, Thank You for the thorough list of "to do's," very thoughtful. Sincerely Michelle

When we are young, we NEVER can imagine what awaits us around the not so distant corner of life. My hair falls out more and more, thank God I have a lot!! My skin is dry even though I try to tend to these things, my cheapest and best moisturizer is petroleum jelly/Vaseline. I continue to put in my mind that God is in even this, for He wants me to learn something. I struggle to remain humble, and am very appreciative of all I have whether little or much. If not for my faith, things could have turned out very bad.

I JUST READ YOUR STORY AND IT'S LIKE READING MY OWN STORY!! IVE HAD THE SAME PROBLEM FOR YEARS. EVEN THE MOST SIMPLE DAILY THINGS ARE VERY HARD FOR ME TO DO,JUST LIKE GROCERY SHOPPING,I FLUSH VERY BAD TOO & I GET SO NERVOUS THAT IT MAKES ME SWEAT A WHOLE LOT, THEN I ALWAYS NOTICE PEOPLE LOOKING AT ME ODD & THAT JUST MAKES ME FEEL WORSE! IM SO GLAD I FINALLY FEEL LIKE IM NOT ALONE! THANK YOU. I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU.