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People Are Unforgiving And Critical By Nature

I have it too. I'm extremely shy around people I don't know very well. I'll get these... voices I guess you can call them... these thoughts that sound like the people I'm around and they all say bad things about me... "Oh look at her, what a freak" just critiquing me on everything I do. I walk down the street and I feel like everyone is just staring at me. Picking me apart with their eyes. Talking about me behind my back. I've heard so many people talk about other people behind their back and I know that they must be talking about me in the same way. Unforgiving. Deep down they want to destroy me. They know how to do it.


I don't go out much anymore. I don't talk on the phone a whole lot. Small talk is impossible. "So, what do you do for fun?" I don't know. I am a boring person. You know it, so don't ask me.


I have depression and that aids it I guess. Another thing is the way my mother treated me growing up. She verbally abused everyone in her life. For me, it hit hard. Constantly being told that you are a worthless piece of sh*t, wh*re, lazy, b*tch, bag, mistake, hellion, wishes that I were never born... and many other things from as soon as I learned to understand language... I guess it will take a toll on you.

cinymin cinymin 19-21, F 19 Responses Oct 25, 2006

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Could it be that the voices you hear others speak while walking down the street are really the voice of your mother or other people who have hurt you deeply? I have been painfully criticized and have carried it with me too long. I replay insults to myself frequently. Surely you have been complimented in your life but you most likely didn't believe it or maybe even forgot those compliments. But try to remember them. Most people walking down the street are not paying attention to you or noticing what you've been criticized for in the past. If anything they may be thinking that you are being that way towards them. We all have our own hangups that we are coping with. Are you overly critical of people you pass? People are too wrapped up in themselves. And those who do criticize others out and about- it doesn't say anything of you. It says A LOT about them. It is very hard being hyper-aware and hyper-critical of yourself. But it is pat things that ****** people have said haunting you. Hurting people hurt others and I am sorry you were a victim to your mom's own pain.

past*

I can totally empathize with you. I'm 25 and I drive two hours to my hometown every weekend to visit my parents. My mom has always been a very critical person. She tells me I'm fat, my teeth are too yellow, I need invisalign, etc. I constantly feel like something is really wrong with me. It's really hard. Best of luck with your situation. Just know that you are not alone.

I haven't been diagnosed but I'm pretty sure that I have SA just from doing my own research and matching common symptoms of the disorder to what I've experienced. I curious cinymin, its been a couple of years. But has your social anxiety gotten any better since you wrote this post? Or anyone else really in the comment section? I personally have seen progress with my anxiety. I am getting braver little by little :D

I could only imagine it taking a toll on you. I'd get very angry, it hurts for someone to treat you this way. Just don't imitate her because you'll never be happy if you follow that example. By being a better person you'll be happier in life.

I can't believe your own mom talked to you like that. I don't really know what to say but I'm sorry. Nobody deserves to be talked to that way by anyone, let alone their own mother. I may not know you, but I can guarantee you're not any of those things she said.

I'm 16 and with this state of mind, I keep myself at home. Go out once in a blue moon sometimes after one to two months at home. I'm prevented from going to school, the mall and other social situations. I've this habit of exercising before going out. How I wish to live my everyday life as before.

I'm 36 and it took my doctors over 12 years to prescribe me an anti-anxiety medication. I've been given celexa, lexapro, zoloft, cymbalta, ... anything and everything for depression. Plus, they gave me propanaolol (beta blocker -aka a heart medication) to treat the physical symptoms of the social anxiety - increased heart rate etc. Propanaolol ended up making me pass out because I was a runner and already had low blood pressure/ heart rate. My heart rate dropped to 40 and they decided 'maybe it wasn't right for me'. So then they added Seroquel (all along while trying CBT, DBT, and every other type of therapy you can think of) and no, I didn't have anxiety because I SLEPT all day. I was so darn tired that I felt I as sleep walking through my day! I wasn't able to function at work with the Seroquel, so I finally asked my psychiatrist if I could try what a coworker was taking for panic attacks and it seemed to work very well. She was very kind and said she would be happy to have me try it and I found it to be the miracle drug! I feel like a NORMAL human being! I don't have to get intoxicated just to speak to people! I don't have to wear all black shirts because I was constantly sweating from my nerves. I don't have to pretend I'm 'having stomach problems' when we have meetings I know I am supposed to talk in. The sad thing is, when I switched doctors, (my doctor was moving to a different area of psychiatry), my new doctor immediately took me off of it. I completely freaked out! I had been on my miracle drug for a year and a half and then someone zaps it right from me! I never abused it or anything of the sort! I immediately began the stuttering, the inability to speak to friends, families, coworkers... you name it. I went back to my doctor bawling my eyes out and said that I don't know why he had to take me off because I would rather die than feel like such a freak again. He wasn't happy with giving it back and he is constantly trying to lower my dosage, but at least I am still getting my klonopin. I'm too darn old to miss out on conversations with people I'd like to talk to! I missed out on High School, COllege... you name it! So please, don't take away some darn medication because it can be addictive! It isn't addictive if you use it properly! Okay, I'm done. :)

I feel the same, I am extremely shy around both people I know and don't know. It hinders my everyday life so much people think I am making it up. I have no friends. It is hard for me to go anywhere. I always make sure I go shopping in the day that way I can wear sunglasses or a hat. It is my security blanket from SAD. I blush easily because I get so nervous, and people always bring it to my attention as if I don't know I am doing this. It only makes matters worse, and I get tongue tied and sweaty, then I feel like they're looking at me like I am some sort of freak! I get spoken to like I am a child because I freeze. It is a living hell I struggle with on a daily basis.

I feel the same :(

Dont talk on phones if u can avoid it. Use a cel fone and only send txts. I do that and find i can write expressively and with confidence.

Rise above it, hun. It's not impossible. Everyone gets depressed. Everyone gets ridiculed. I'm sure you're guilty of making some judgments of people as well. Sometimes, we don't realize how our words actually effect others. Sometimes the effect we want to make when critisizing someone is more extreme than we originally hoped for. Learn to forgive your mother... she has her own issues. You and her have more in common than you both think. Good luck to you.

i had the same issue btu if you wanna catch up my medicine was how to win freinds and influence pepole by Dale carnegie and now i am very smooth talker ( secret is only listening and questioning) and i dont feel at all odd with people around .... its boon... i recommend a reading and applying for all those who feel socially awkward.

its really bad to be feeling like this.. I get sick when i have to make appointments for my children.. my fiance does as much callin to ppl that he can do without us being married.. then i get my ex husband to do the other calling dealing with my children.. I think i need meds but dont want to go to the doctor for them to be all upset with me.

I am so sorry that you grew up with an abusive mother. I guess after hearing the horrible things towards you for years is certainly making an impact in your life. I too have anxiety disorder and do not like to be around people. My parents just never talked to me while I was growing up, and they left me alone every evening while they played card games with friends at their house. My brothers and sister were much older than I am and they were out of the house by the time I was 9 years old. I got used to being by myself and now I just don't feel comfortable being around people. I have learned to entertain myself. I have been diagnoised as being ADHD, bipolar, and generalized anxiety. Not a pretty picture I am sure. I am on meds and pretty stable at this time but still the social thing I do not like. I was in the Army for 10 years and that is how I learned to fake my social life. I would have to teach soldiers, discipline soldiers, train soldiers, etc. Can you imagine having to discipline a soldier when inside your gut is saying they hate me. It is not natural for me to do it, but I can do it as needed. It does drain me tremendously though. Now that I am out of the Army I spend most of my time in my bedroom while my boyfriend is alone in the living room. I hate it when he comes in my room to talk. I love him but I don't like to talk much. Talking on the phone is a major drain. I do text and talk on FB but I do not like to be on there for very long. Have you thought about talking to a counselor or a psychologist about your childhood?

( "So, what do you do for fun?" I don't know. I am a boring person. You know it, so don't ask me.)) that's me right there. im just not a people person. i dont mind txt, email or wat ev and rarely do i like talking on the phone. i just dont like talking face to face, i dont look people in the eye, and my voice is so quite and shy, that people dont hear me.

i feel the same, it's like not only their eyes judge me, but even if they dont say anything i, my mind plays tricks i suppose and it make the people say bad things. its horrible.

You dont know how much this helps me. I feel sometimes im the only one with this disorder, everyone else seems happy and outgoing.

babygirl12.. i have the same feeling.. i get anxiety when i am around people whom i know very well but i am so confident when i am with strangers.... i sometimes feel i have a split personality :P..<br />
This feeling sucks.. but i believe nothing is impossible .. We can at least try to not to feel this way and there are lots of tips that people say which had helped them.. and if nothing works then doctors are always there in plenty... so lets keep the hope alive and lets recover soon.... :)

I am extremely shy too, but not only around people I do not know that well but also around people that I do know very well and that includes my own family. I always feel like people are staring at me every where I go. I always feel like I am being judged. It is very frustrating and I do not know why I feel this way, but I understand you.