I Do Not Enjoy Socializing, Relationships Stress Me Out, And I Lack Attachment To 'close' People

Basically on some levels I appear as an accomodating social person however i am not. I do have friends and I care for them. When I care for people truly want to make sure that everything is ok 'emotionally' in their lives. If everything is not ok, then I feel anxiety for them. In generallly feel this way about most people, and so it is easiest for me to not work on relationships with them, because I care too much and this is a sourse of stress for me. Spending time with people is sometimes ok, but in the end for at least half of the people I spend time with, at the end, i think- what is this all for? I do not feel like I receive anything beneficial, or what I receive I do not perceive to be worth the time I spent with the other person. Mostly, I feel as if I would be better off doing my own thing. I am wondering if others can relate. I cannot say that do not enjoy people, but about half the time, I don't. Also, I am not too attached to my parents. I am an adult, but if they were to pass away, I don't think I would care. I don't hate them, but in my relationship with them, I did not build a deep connection. I am also wondering if there aer others who do not necessary hate their relatives, have respect for them, but do not care if they pass away. I dont' think that i would cry if they passed away. I also wonder if this could be some type of condition which is documented, or not documented yet. Ultimately I find it hard to moderate relationships, and I dont' like socializing on my free time.
Dedrie Dedrie
3 Responses Mar 26, 2011

I really relate to what you are saying. I find a lot of the time dealing with other people is more stressful than it seems worth. Placating, deferring, dealing with their judgements (often poorly founded), biases, and prejudices, listening to their complaints, etc... I do suspect though if you actually lost your parents you would miss them a lot. My mom passed away and although she could also often be a source of stress I do wish I could have her back to stress me out.

Hi there, I TOTALLY relate to what you're saying - which is why i found our article. I googled 'people stress me out' and your article was the third on the list that came up. I have had what most would consider a pretty amazing life. i thought I had too. Then i gave up smoking. ( I smoked 60 cigarettes a day for 22 years ). What I didn't realise was that i was smoking that amount because it would 'numb' my body and my mind from people. It was my way of dealing with people and stress. It is now 3 years since i gave up smoking and I have virtually become a recluse. I have cut off from all my family and friends and rarely leave my apartment. And when i do, there is always some ******* that cuts you off in the traffic or walks right across your path or cant be bothered smiling when they serve you in a shop etc etc. Most people are so selfish and narcissistic and only out for themselves these days that i just cant be bothered with them. I too wont cry when my parents die. There was a situation when my parents should've stuck up for me but didn't - so that was the end of that relationship. If i had still been smoking, i wouldve just smoked and numbed myself and brushed what they did under the carpet. So, they can die and i wont care. I used to be a really caring and empathetic person - I think Ive just been hurt too often by people. I dont think people think properly before they do or say things to other people. I once saw a blonde girl talking to a female friend of hers who was working as a barister. I was waiting in line behind to get a coffee. The blonde girl was chatting away really politely etc - i knew they were friends because of the content of the conversation. The barister girl was rude and sarcastic and horrible to her friend in return. It was unbelievable to watch. And the blonde girl just kept talking normally like nothing out of the normal was happening. I was standing behind seething and furious at the barister - she was such a cow. And i wanted the blonde to stick up for herself and she didnt. And this is the world today. Normally in a situation like that, i would say something but unfortunately, its the closest coffee shop to me and I had a coffee addiction at the time and i was protecting that but it did take all my control not to spit at her. I hate the way people treat other people in this world. SELFISH. EVERBODY IS SO DAMNED SELFISH. So, I think its much easier to be a recluse. That way people and injustices wont continuously stress me out. yes, i do believe there are certain 'labels' for people who feel ( or dont feel ) as we do ie you said yourself that we may be suffering from social anxiety or some sort of post traumatic stress disorder or misanthropy ( general dislike of people ) etc. there are loads of labels we can whack on ourselves. Everyone in the world can be labeled one thing or another though. The ones that really dont care and appear to be incredible 'charming' and 'fine' and 'happy' usually have psychopathic traits. They stop at nothing to make sure THEY feel good. And then trample the rest of society. In general, the human race disgusts me. I dont even want to go into whats happening in the poor or war torn countries and the hurt people are causing each other there. Being Australian is bad enough thanks very much. And to the genuinely good and kind and gentle people of this planet, I take my hat off to you - because theres not many of you. and dont kid yourselves people - most of you ARENT those people. If you are one of those people, you are out there making a REAL difference. Not just saying you've read a 'save a puppy' website on facebook. SORRY - DOESNT COUNT! So my dear, you are not alone in your feelings, I cant be bothered with people either. People can be real *****. You are quite normal and there is no need to 'label' yourself with anything. Everyone on this planet is as 'mad' as each other. take care and dont be hard on yourself. I think you might be one of the good ones that is always trying to help and make people feel better. Dont feel bad that you feel like writing half of them off - they probably dont reciprocate to either you or this planet and dont deserve it.

Great respose! You said things exactly as I see them.

why don't you buy an ax and cut your parents heads off, one less thing to think about.