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Ugh, Isolation Hate Socializing

I tend to isolate. I stay inside. I avoid people in 3D. Feel no one wants me. I am sooo akward. Why would someone want to socialize with me? No one does. Have family who comes when they need something and thats it. Have online friends but that feels safer they don't really know me. Scared, someone will look at me and run.

Rach

Rachel4now Rachel4now 31-35, F 36 Responses Feb 17, 2008

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get outside once in a while. fresh air is good for you and you might fall in love.

thank you for sharing your story but i can relate to you in someways and if you need someone to talk to you then im here for you

hi,just wanted to say i know exactly how you feel.i dread meeting new people because i get so nervous and i always end up saying something that makes me look so stupid.i even feel awkward trying to talk to someone on t'internet.how sad is that?!

This is my first post, and I am aware that my handle will raise some eye brows, but this is an important topic.<br />
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I believe that everyone, no matter how successful they are, has something about themselves that makes them feel awkward, and if they don't, they are either being disingenuous or are in denial. I know I do. Here's the duality of my nature: In my line of work, I see people all day, some of whom are strangers, some I know from previous visits. Because of the nature of my job, I go into a room with a purpose in mind, a goal, and I can talk with them and joke around, but that is my professional life.<br />
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The other aspect of my personality is painfully shy. I've become very good at avoiding social situations. I was married for a few years. Even then, I felt less than desirable to my wife. I thought it would get better as I got older, but it hasn't. I work on it a little every day, so there is hope. I was told years ago that it's all about the process. I think so. When you keep your focus on the process, the answer takes care of itself.<br />
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It's not easy, and, at times, very very hard, but anything you have to really work for reaps its reward in the end.<br />
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Anyway, you have a new friend. Take that as you will.<br />
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Peace

I feel the same. Deep inside of me I feel lonely... But I have felt that way and Im feeling comfortable with it.

Oh, all you poor souls! I am one with all of you! Just reading all of your stories helped me so much! The more I searched, the more I found sooo many people were like me! Just imagine, if we were out on the street together you'd be afraid of me, and I'd be afraid of you! Lol! Just the thought of that made me feel like, if I knew it was you, I'd feel better. I really think socializing is hard for almost everyone. I really do. As old, educated, worldly, intelligent as an individual is, we are all just silly kids in ways. Next time you dare to go out, don't be afraid...smile at someone, they might be me.

Well as much as its a problem for me too, I think I'm better off alone then having a bad friend. My point is you'll meet someone who will be your friend they wont run or dislike you... and well if they do run, or they think your awkward then you don't need them. I have a better time talking online with others but I can hardly think of two words when around others, I've lost a lot of friends because they thought I didn't like them because of my social anxiety it really sucks. But I know a true friend will stick with you, accept you and understand you... so keep looking keep trying and maybe these online friends if they really are your friend with meet you someday.

i am the same . I was out going life and soul of the party .ages 18+ I went night clubbing mostly every weekend .. BANG!!! like a slap in the face I'm 23yrs old I don't go out I can't look at people in the face I can't talk to people I have bipolar I have my down days where i can't answer the phone but even on better I still don't go out I have lost most of my friends I don't go to birthday parties I don't know my own birthday party I am always tired I always nap I don't know where this came about ... WHY! at young age I was going off to the coast in a tent a few days going to night clubs will chat up any girl I went flyer club I went kickboxing and here I am now to scared to pick up the phone or talk at someone in the eyes or even go out anymore ... just wanna spend most of my days in bed watching films or reading books .... just wanna curl up in bed and stay here don't know why though

I agree with Dottiedsl. I love my job but my coworkers do not really seem to want to socialize with me. I am sure I say stupid things. I go home at night and just want to hybernate. I am poor company for my husband. I resent people who call.

This is very hard for me i never talk to people about my anxiety or depression my husband really don't get it i had anxiety all through life i remember as a child bean scared just to be around other children my age it was really bad i never wanted to go to school because i would get so scared and freaked out at that time i didn't know what was wrong with me i would get so scared i vomit in front of my class it was and is so bad i didn't even go to high school no prom no cheer leading nothing i fought to learn to deal with it but it is still with me now at age 27 i still get the anxiety attack panic attacks i call them as well with the anxiety depression came along to I PRAY WITH THE LORDS HELP I CAN GET FREED FROM THIS GOD BLESS TAKE CARE.

I'm 16, I have one friend. I never leave home, I haven't been out to a friends house for a few months and even then I couldn't stand it.<br />
Had a fairly hard life... Mum passed away the day before my birthday, I'm a recovering weed addict. Been smoking for a couple of years gave it up because I don't earn money. Used to cut untill my arms were fully covered and couldn't be cut any more.<br />
(Don't wan't to tell everyone ALL my problems so I'll stfu about them)<br />
Tried counselling, psychologists & medication. Nothings worked. I can't even find the courage to go to the doctors and see what's wrong...<br />
I really don't know what to do any more, I can't stop thinking of the easy way out.<br />
But it's good to know I'm not the only one suffering... Maybe one day things will get better... Maybe one day.

So if youare really wanting change i will recommend 2 books that have helped me more than i can explain with similar issue to yours. Both by Alan Watts, "The Way of Zen" and "The Wisdom of Insecurities" It much like hyroglyphics to the western mind but read the way of Zen first (until you get a basicj understaning of it, then the real kicker is the other book. Please be advised that this is not intended to produce a nialistic perspective on life, rather to show you that you matter because you are here and that you are already free from depression and axiety, it is theses wants of all the western world that creates this disruption of harmony between the mind and body. It is worth trying, trust me i speak from experience. You are a beautiful worthy person, treat yourself that way with out the superficial, narcissistic ideologies of our western socialization. Best.

I hope you get over this

I am so scared of people and socializing and I hate small talk. I am very shy and I never know what to do or who to talk to because I am only 12 years old. I have no specific friends......Whenever I feel uncomfortable I try so hard to hold back tears. And my parents are forcing me to stay on my running team. I do love running, I just hate how social the sport is.

Me too. I'm so loney. My husband never spends anytime with me because I never want to leave the house. Or, it's not necessarily that I don't want to, I'd love to, I just am too scared to be around people. He is out with his friend right now. (of course i stayed home)

i'm sure you're not nearly as awkward as you think you are and that people would love to be around you if you gave them the opportunity :)

I can totally identify with what you just said. Eventhough, I'm always making an effort on trying to be a bit more friendly, trying to open up to new people, but is soooooo hard, specially when being this way, is kind of like your second nature. What can you do?, at times I can't even avoid it, is just part me and I've learn not be ashamed of it... Just try to live with it and make the best out of any situation.

so true, its easier online, not the constant pressure to keep the conversation going, you get to rethink what you wrote and delete it if you change your mind before you send it, no going back in real time, one on one, hope you find some solace

Couldn't agree more.

I cry everynight I go to sleep....school is so lonely.....I'm so lonely :(

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Yes, I can relate to everyone here. I got my realtor's license because I LOVE real estate but it's such a public job & fear that I won't be able to do it. I feel like I've given up before I've started. And it was such a struggle to get this far. But I've had alot of bad experiences with people. Even in the real estate course, there was this one guy, that was belittling me the whole time that I had to change groups with him, and even the teachers could tell that he was a jerk to me.....that part still bothers me that someone could just get to me like that.....my anxiety is so bad that it reves me up so much I can't sleep etc.....Anyways, I can relate to everyone here.....

When I was a kid I talked to anybody and everybody and as a grew up I would go out in public all the time.... but as the years went on... I have come to the point where I dont like social interaction. I usually only leave the house to go to my counselor, or go to my doctors. I dont like interacting with any people in public. the counselor and workers at the mental health center, I am ok with most, but not all. and I am ok with my doctors. but not always ok with the workers in the offices. some of them, I cant get along with. I have schizoaffective disorder and lots of sub disorders. Lots of anxiety seems to come from nowhere most of the time. You are not alone! I love being by myself. it keeps me from facing something referred to as reality because it bites

I too. I admit to others already I feel uncomfortable

i feel like iam at home here...now imagine my situation i ahve a twin brother who is like 2 time more popular than me.hes got loads of friends.even nw hes out enjoying and ima home wondering how will i ever talk normally to people.i cant even make proper eye contact withoutacting like a shithead.

When i was a child I couldnt talk to anyone, i wanted to real bad but i just didnt know how. Now i can talk to people regularly but i have to convince myself that they arent going to hate me or think that what I have to say is stupid or that im disgusting. So instead of the pep talk I prefer to stay at home alone, but, i know its better for me to go out and talk to people.

When i was a child I couldnt talk to anyone, i wanted to real bad but i just didnt know how. Now i can talk to people regularly but i have to convince myself that they arent going to hate me or think that what I have to say is stupid or that im disgusting. So instead of the pep talk I prefer to stay at home alone, but, i know its better for me to go out and talk to people.

I go to work and come home. I spend the majority of my time alone in my room. My husband sleeps in a different part of the house...I rarely see him. My daughter lives with me with her boyfriend and three kids....I love the kids..its my only joy. I have no friends to socialize with...I feel ugly and boring so I do my best to avoid people.

At least you have a job, I have an associate's degree, working on my bachelor's.. but I'm too scared to go out and interview for any jobs.. In fact, just the thought of having my first job interview terrorizes me.. and the thought of having to work with or be around other people all day.... I feel as if my education is worthless, and I'm just wasting my time and money going to school.. And to top it off I'm also terrified of driving because I get lost everywhere I go and start having panic attacks... My husband is like my personal chauffer.. I feel so useless sometimes...

thats like me having no friends at school always alone all me life i hate it :|

I am not sure I have "social anxiety". I know I have anxiety being social.<br />
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I just hate it. I would rather not go out at all. I function well in public and I am not fearful of what others think of me. But I just rather stay in than go out. Very Very much so.<br />
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And the only reason it is such a problem is because so many of the people around me (in 3D and on the net) are not like this. Which makes me think I am not normal .. and need "help". But really, I am Happy to be this way. If only more of the others were like me, I would not feel so abnormal.

I am not sure I have "social anxiety". I know I have anxiety being social.<br />
<br />
I just hate it. I would rather not go out at all. I function well in public and I am not fearful of what others think of me. But I just rather stay in than go out. Very Very much so.<br />
<br />
And the only reason it is such a problem is because so many of the people around me (in 3D and on the net) are not like this. Which makes me think I am not normal .. and need "help". But really, I am Happy to be this way. If only more of the others were like me, I would not feel so abnormal.

Hey this is just how i feel. I have friends or i know people from school or work but i wanna talk to
Them and i just cant. So they go away from me and ignore me. I try to be friendly but looks like is disgusting for them. I try to create topics to talk but they just follow abit and then leave. I feel like they dont wanna talk to me. They talk to everybody but me. Its sad

i know how you feel. Sometimes people start talking to me and I find myself not knowing what to say and they eventually stop talking to me and avoid me. Its very painful and lonely. Maybe they can see how much effort it is to talk or something.