I Feel Helpless

I blame myself right now for this unhappiness I feel and i feel like nobody understands. I was talking to my boyfriend last night asking him questions about the future him being in the military and he was busy doing something and seemed to get annoyed with me because I mentioned him forgetting about me while he's away soon and now I havent talked to him today and I dont know if its because he's busy working or he just doesnt want to talk to me so now my anxious mind is fearing the worst that he doesnt wanna be with me b/c of my worrying even though he said it wont scare him away. I try so hard being with him not to let my fears bother me that sometimes I cant keep them away. He has no idea how hard I try and how hard it is for me. Im so scared im gonna lose him and its gonna be my fault I care about him so much. I feel so helpless,I cant fix this or know everything is ok if he doesnt talk to me. I just wanna be with him without worrying because of my stupid insecurity that hes not gonna wanna be with me anymore at some point,god I hope I havent pushed him away :( anybody else worry like this?
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Apr 29, 2012