It Makes Me AngryIts logically unsound. I am not in any danger of harm. But the longer I stay in the worse it gets. And I have been inside the house except to go to the convenience store across the street for months and months. I don't when was the last time I went to the grocery store and stocked up on proper food. For Gods sake, I take a taxi there and back. I am shielded. I went out today and I got all tense inside. I hate people seeing me. Today was odd too. I waved at an older guy who lives in a house across from the convenience store/gas station. I've done that a couple times before...I think I started it,. He and an older woman sit outside and watch everything go by....and I guess I can relate and I feel bad for them. So he knows me(probably by my black clothes and hat). But when I left the store, he started to walk down the street toward me when I got on the other side. I said it was nice weather today. He said yeah. I walked to my house, down the path to my porch. I looked out the corner out of my eye and he was there and he kind of stood there then turned around back the other way. Eeek! Silly man followed me? Unnerved me a bit.
Anyhow, I take two meds for anxiety and I still feel impending doom and fright. I don't know what to do. I see my psych nurse on the 15th. My ex-roommate took Buspar for anxiety. I've never tried that. It's more of a subtle ongoing med...not like benzos. Which are nice but they make you sleepy. I just want to be on an even keel and not feel like I did today. Summer is coming and I want to go walking and not spend it inside. My mind is reacting like a prehistoric survivor when things are not THAT bad. :)
deleted 26-30 18 Responses 8 May 1, 2012