I Didnt Realize

I didnt realize I had a social anxiety until I found myself not going to different engagements I had promised to attend.

One day as I decided at the last moment not to go because "I didnt feel well" I realized, whenever it is time for me to go to public functions, I always start to feel sick.. I feel dizzy like I am about to throw up and I get kind of light headed. I didnt realize that I was essentially having an anxiety attack because I am only vaguely familiar with my panic attacks when I get short of breath and feel like the walls are closing in on me...

I wonder if I am going to feel the same way on the day of my wedding?

WunderWoman WunderWoman
26-30, F
7 Responses Dec 17, 2006

It was bad at my wedding. The judge told me my knees were shaking, and he thought I was going to fall over. >_< And there were only a few people there, so I shouldn't have been that nervous.
I still get embarrassed thinking about it, but I enjoyed it all the same. I wasn't going to let anxiety ruin the best day of my life!

Something which helps me is eating polo's to get rid of the anxiety. I also tell myself that I don't ever HAVE to go to something. I am doing it because I want to, not because there is any pressure too. I also have a mantra, where I just tell myself that I am ok and that I have experienced it all before and I will be able to come out of it. I hope some of this helps but I really do know how you feel. I haven't been out to a single of my freinds 18th birthday parties which is really upsetting.

I always decide I "don't feel well" at the last minute too.

some aquantences asked me to go to a party one time, and i said id go. but i didnt, i didnt even ask my parents if i could go. and if i did, they said yes but i just changed my mind, called the person who invited me and told them something came up. i alsways make excuses to not leave the house.

I can see my a side of me on this comment. Saying yes, and then later on making up excuses not to go!

be strong i have suffered for five years now. do u wanna live ya life or wake up every morning thinking about how u should be in a social situation???!!!! Its painful, it hard but i am on the way to success!!!! I still feel weird and like a stranger but they feel just like us but we take it to another level... email me ....... atcha.adanm@gmail.com

I usually pick a big fight so not only am I staying home alone, I have the bit*h reputation and have shoved everyone away.

Same here, my mind does the best it can to either rationalise my skipping the promised event, or I begin to convince myself I am too sick to go and enjoy myself...but later I see the disappointment and feel the guilt...why can't I just say no the first time? (Because I really have no good reason not to go)