Im Afraid Nothing Will Change..

I currently nearing the end of my first semester of college. I dont know anyone here and it is making me misrable. While my roomate and the people in my hall are going out everynight having funny i sit alone in my dorm and its starting to get pretty lonely. I have made a few "friends" in some of my classes but i dont talk to them outside of the class room. My social anxiety makes it really hard fo me to initiate a conversation with them outside of my classes. When im sitting in the cafateria( always by myself) I sit with head phones in or just praying that nobody comes up to me and askes to sit down. Just the thought of having to sit by myself with someone i dont know is too much. I feel this university isn't the right fit because it is very religious and I am not. I am transfering to another university in the spring. I have been telling self that it is the university and that the people here are different from me, that next semester will be different Now that it is getting closer and closer I am starting to realise that it is just my social anxiety. I am deepy afraid that next semester is going to the same way and I wont have any friends. The only thing that is gettig me throught thi semester is thinking next semester will be better, but what if its not? I know kids from my high school that go there that i dont talk to so that makes my anxiety worse knowing that hey will be judgeing me if i dont make friends. Everyone talks about how college is great and you will love it. Why can't it be great for me? Why can't I have the awesome college experience everyone else has?
mghsarah mghsarah
18-21, F
Dec 8, 2012