I Have Social Anxiety
I Never Told This To Anyone, Not Even People With SA
Written on January 23rd, 2013
Loneliness - Absence of others.
Alone - Presence of yourself.
Which one are you?
I have come to slowly embrace the solitude. That does not mean I gave up.
I still try my best (arguable but I do try) to connect but I'm not attached anymore. (at least that's where Im heading)
Some people will hate me for saying this, but if youre lonely you have it in your power not to be.
But when you have social anxiety and in my case, a rare kind, you'll find it harder than usual to connect.
What kind you ask? Well, imagine you can't laugh or smile without giving out your anxiety.
Imagine your mere presence makes someone nervous because you can't hide your anxiety with smiles.
It's a psychological problem derived from a traumatic experience I had during middle school.
For quite some time, the sound of laughter has scared me. And it still does to some extent.
Cruel isn't it? An ability that comes so naturally and is vital to human connection is taken away from me.
I'll not give up hope that someday I'll smile an innocent and whole-hearted smile again without fear or anxiety. For hope is all I have.
Alone - Presence of yourself.
Which one are you?
I have come to slowly embrace the solitude. That does not mean I gave up.
I still try my best (arguable but I do try) to connect but I'm not attached anymore. (at least that's where Im heading)
Some people will hate me for saying this, but if youre lonely you have it in your power not to be.
But when you have social anxiety and in my case, a rare kind, you'll find it harder than usual to connect.
What kind you ask? Well, imagine you can't laugh or smile without giving out your anxiety.
Imagine your mere presence makes someone nervous because you can't hide your anxiety with smiles.
It's a psychological problem derived from a traumatic experience I had during middle school.
For quite some time, the sound of laughter has scared me. And it still does to some extent.
Cruel isn't it? An ability that comes so naturally and is vital to human connection is taken away from me.
I'll not give up hope that someday I'll smile an innocent and whole-hearted smile again without fear or anxiety. For hope is all I have.
Age:
22-25
,
Male
