I Dont Feeel Normal

i dont have a peer group and spend most of my time with my family im new to online support and hope you can help me feel less alone
the world feels like it happens around me like im a spectator. i feel like there is a connection missing or something i have no confidence and low self esteem and worry over everything.
i had to check my profile three times to make sure i couldnt be identified
i find it very difficult meeting new people and ask my family if the person i am meeting has been warned i have to think through whatever i say to them several times and it still comes out wrong
it seems like everybody else is fine and they always know what to say what is and isnt funny i try very hard to be friendly and helpful i believe in fairness and i try to be caring but i just feel like it doesnt matter what i do
im working with some very strong personalities at the moment and find i am getting deeper and deeper inside myself i dont seem understand their humour or their coping strategies and feel isolated i brush things off alot because i dont want to make trouble or make things worse living day to day at the moment smoking so much and drinking too much coffee trying to keep up

anybody else out there like me?

An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 29, 2013

thankyou sad sufferer things are just getting ontop of me a bit im trying to get out of this bad place in my head im new to ep trying to talk a bit to people who have been here my meds are kicking in a bit now so im not as overwhelmed but im still very aware of the people around me im trying to hard to fit in, i dont have the connection that says no, i have problems understanding how far to go to help others, and get told off for interfering, the road to heck is paved with good intentions, yeah im not a swearer i like to be polite all i know is im surrounded by people my arms n legs start tingling and my calves start aching, if i have to talk i get the shakes and stutter im just and the heart melting, headaching knowledge that im going to say wrong thing my colleagues dont know/care i have this problem and have started calling me the "odd" one but they ask me to swap my leave or finish late coz of their kids hubby n me cant have kids they know this and use it as weakness against me i have lost half a stone this week and im fed up of the anaerexia jokes aint got it cant spell it stick with maybe 12 hours sleep in seven days anxiety and depression sponsered coffee n ciggie diet food not reallyhappenin for me for a month

Enjoy yourself,dont be so hard with you.People are 99,999999999% friendly.Self esteem is about to find out who REALLY we are and just express it to the world.It is about feeling we deserve good things as others.Find who you really are be kind with yourself stop being so mean when you talk to yourself, forgive yourself when you fail and tell him your love(list to an avril lavigne song I LOVE YOU this illustrater it perfectly).And there are amazing tools like EFT do it yourself or find help(consult practitioner or via skype).The only solution is to boost self esteem.Trying to be someone else that adapt or fit to others might be somehow dangerous.When you love yourself people will see this glowing light in your eyes and you would be in peace with yourself.All the best!You deserve to live fully your life and to enjoy every single second you spend on earth.OK my blah blah is over now!:)