It Controls My Life

I don't think my social anxiety kicked in or became apparant until I hit my teens. Long story short, I have spent the last 10 or so years of my life pretending that I am normal with nothing wrong except that I am "just shy." Well a year ago I realized that I have more issues than being "just shy." I have trouble making eye contact with other people. I sometimes don't feel shy at all and want to say something but just don't because I have no clue WHAT to say.

If I go too long without talking to people, it becomes even harder to do so. I sometimes feel so anxious that I find it difficult to leave my apartment, or I won't want to call people such as the hairdresser to book an appointment.

There are so many things in my life I wish I could do but I just have to cross them off my list as too impossible: going to parties, travelling (cuz who would I go with? how would I meet people?), joining clubs or groups, attending company christmas parties. Dating is sometimes okay but then I become anxious about such things as meeting his friends, his family, his coworkers, going to his social events where he wants to introduce me to people. It''s like a nightmare.

I need to conquer my social anxiety or I'll be unhappy my whole life. It's just so hard sometimes that I don't know if I can do it.

Sunburst Sunburst
22-25
1 Response Aug 22, 2008

I can relate. I was so bad in the begining I could barely leave my house, but I made myself and I'm glad I did. I have gotten a lot better in the last year, but I still have a long ways to go. I am a male, so dating is very difficult for me. The guy is supposed to be the first to make a move, which is very difficult with this condition. Then like you I also think about meeting her family and friends and etc.. It sux..