Why Me?

I really am struggling with social anxiety. I have a lot of fear of being around people and I do not even know why. I have always been a very shy and quiet person. I always feel very self-conscious when I am around people. I always feel that people are observing me in every way. I try to be very careful about the things that I do and the things that I say when I am around people, because I do not want to embarrass myself and draw attention to myself. I am very afraid to say anything when I am in a group of people, because I feel that they will turn me down and laugh at me.

I always feel a whole lot of anxiety when I walk into a grocery store, the mall, restaurants, and basically every place there is. It is very frustrating and sad for me when I cannot feel relaxed and normal like everyone else around me. It has ruined my life because I missed out on dates in high school; I do not have any real close friends, and I never really went to any dances in high school. Since I do not have any friends I miss out on having fun and enjoying life. I have no social life. 

I never even been in a relationship and that is not even very common for the age that I am. I sometimes wonder if I will ever be in a relationship that will lead to marriage. I  have always wanted to get married and have kids of my own some day, but I really do not think that I will. If I do get married and have kids I would not want my kids to suffer like I always have my whole life; so I worry about that too.

There are so many things that I want in life and so many things that I want to do, but this social anxiety is really ruining my life. It is really holding me back from a lot of things. I try so hard to relax but I just can't.

babygirl12 babygirl12
22-25, F
3 Responses Jun 28, 2007

Girl, it sounds like I wrote that! I have social anxiety as well and I di feel anxious walking into the grocery stores etc..anywhere that is is crowded. When I walked into Mariah careys concert I thought I was going to throw up because there were so many people. You should see a psychologist. If you are in college they usually offer free services or let your parents know you would like to see someone and tell them what you are dealing with. They will understand and hopefully support you 100 percent since you took the time to actually tell them. Counseling will help you so much! THey may try to put you on medication. I was offered anxiety medication but I do not like the possible side effects of drugs so I just have to deal with it by going to counseling and putting myself into uncomfortable situations. The worse experience I have ever had was when my friend set me up on a blind date and did not tell me until she parked her car in front of the restaurant and said " well , there is something I have to tell you, Im setting you up with a really nice guy inside " When I walked in there were about 15 others all sitting at the table starring at me and smiling because they ALL knew this was a blind date..HOW EMBARRASING , especially for someone who has social anxiety....I thought I was going to pass out...anyways, talk to someone about this because you don't want this to ruin wonderful things in your life like your next relationships or friendships

I understand your problem. It will go away someday. When you find that you are thinking about something different (e.g.with relatives or a book),you will temporarily stop feeling self-conscious. As you have more positive thoughts, you will feel more open and self-consciousness will be less often. good luck.

I think your first step should be to make some friends, because my friends in this matter give me strength. Maybe not directly, but in a sense that i see the issues they have and it sometimes makes the issues i have seem less significant(just one way it helps me). Understand people will also help you see how common certain problems are and they are really problems and are more just what makes us human. Also the more friends you make the more secondary connection have which increase your potential to find someone you would potentially like to date. I think most relationships are formed though connecting friends. <br />
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i hope this helps