My Addiction Equalled Affliction

I have had my social anxiety for as long as I can remember. Even as a child I had a hard time meeting new people and being in crowds.

Then I found that I could find courage in chemical dependancy. If I was drunk or high I could function better and mingle better with peole I normally would shy away from.

But due to this type of self medication, I only made the situation worse. An have made myself borderline agorophobic. Its really hard. I have two kids and can hardly go outside to play with them even for a half hour at a time. Its really sad.

Have gotten better with medication but it is still a constant struggle. The struggle to not feel like  a flood light is on you 24/7. To not feel judged and singled out in a crowd.

Just want to live life like everyone else. Comfortable an confident around others. To have friends and meet new people. To not be so isolated and alone all the time. My kids can only fill up so much of the void I feel these days.

KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher
31-35, F
Jul 3, 2007