Always Have Been...

For as long as I can remember I've been like this. I don't do well with people. It's almost like I don't understand how to interact with them ya know. I'm always so worried about what I'm saying or doing when I'm around other people. Even my own family memebers or close friends. I get very nervous, I tend to studder, I can never seem to say the right thing or get my point across. What absolutely amazes me is is most people don't even notice. But my social anxiety is so bad that it prevents me from really living my life. For example...I have a hard time calling my friends. When I go to call on of them I suddenly get paranoid...what if they are busy and I'm bugging them, what if they think that I bug them to much, what if they are sick of me...all this stuff pops in my head...and it's so bad that 9 times out 10 I wont make the phone call...and these are all people I love and know very well. It also effects other parts of my life. Like I know I want to go back to school and I know I should get back in to school but I can't bring myself to call or walk in to a college and talk to anyone about starting classes.

To be honest i've gotten better then I used to be (believe it or not), but it's hard...I'll have panic attacks over something as simple as going to the check out at walmart (FYI I always do self check outs so I don't have to talk to anyone and if I buy medicine I have to take someone with me or have someone go for me cause I know that the check out person is going to come and talk to me). But I guess the plus is i'm not as bad as I used to be.

pepsi21addict pepsi21addict
22-25, F
Jul 13, 2007