Do not talk to me or try to "help me" unless you actually have this anxity. I am so sick of hearing people say .. Just get out or do this or that like its a simple fix or they just dont see why its so hard to talk to people just force yourself or get out in the workd blah blah .. Like i dont think about that everyday all the time.. If its that simple i would have done it already. I just want some understanding from people who are going threw the same struggles. Sorry of i seem rude.
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19 Responses Mar 21, 2014

Hi, I have social anxiety too. I found that consuming "Brewer's Yeast" makes a world of difference since it's high in B vitamins. The effects are immediate and incredible. I often think "So this is what other people feel..." The only downside is that it is temporary and tastes bad. The only tips I can give are to either buy the capsules or to mix it with an orange flavored drink. Don't start out with the recommended dosage; begin with half a tablespoon and work your way up to two when you're ready. Good luck and I hope this was helpful.

You don't seem rude at all. People are all ways telling me to go out and talk to people.. like you said, if I didn't have this problem... Id already be out talking socializing with people. As for forcing yourself to go.. I've tried that and could not enjoy myself due to fighting anxiety and panic.

Don't even see a problem with it... really.

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Hi! I know what you're going through. I believe the solution to this social anxiety is to change one's mindset. They way you think and feel influences the way you perceive yourself and the people around you. How do you change your mindset? I'm not sure for I am no a psychologist although I am interested in human behavior. I suggest repeating positive affirmations to yourself, or try some self-talk to yourself to boost your self-esteem and confidence. Sometimes I'm just tired of thing and just let it flow--relieving my mind from all the troubles.

I understand this better than you think. I have had Generalized Anxiety disorder for years. I may be young, but I can tell you so much about it, its not funny. Message me if you would like and i would LOVE to talk to you about it :)

i find getting out into nature helps with my general anxiety. panic attacks are a little harder to deal with,i found i have to act outside of what my brain is telling me to do in order to fulfill the act of a panic attack. it sounds complex but if you look up tony robbins he explains it all in detail. basically your brain has a set criteria of how to have a panic attack and if you change any part of the criteria, its impossible for the panic attack to happen.

your definitley right im very quiet and shy and i dont really understand or get people who are social butterflys it seems so easy for them and its so hard for me they dont get ppl like you or me and they dont want to cause they dont care but your not the only one is what im saying

Nothing bothers me more than people trying to fix me and saying "just talk" when they don't realize I am dying inside. There were times in high school where there would be a big activity in the gym and they'd take anyone off the bleachers to participate. I wanted to participate SO BADLY and my friends would always bother me with the "just get up and do it, it isn't that hard" but I'd remain there with tears in my eyes wishing I could just jump up and join them.

I have had SAD since I was about 10 and I only started being able to move past it since I turned 20. I still have my moments where I'll miss out or keep my mouth shut because the terror creeps back up on me.

I have OCD and general anxiety , I always think everyone is judging me... Medication just clouded my mind. I try to put myself out there but it's excruciating.
I just joined some classes starting in apRil. I am so nervous. All we can do is try 💚

You just have to find your balance, I found out I was an introvert, and can only handle crowds for so long before my energy depletes and the anxiety starts, you'll find your own strategies, i think as you get older you stop worrying as much what people think because you realise they don't know what the hell they're doing either lol. Just keep trying your best, that's all we can do.

Social butterflies are overrated. If it's not your thing it's not your thing. Stop thinking something is wrong with you. I personally have always chosen quality over quantity. That being said, I've had some lonely periods in my life when I felt I didn't have a friend in the world. During those times, I just focused on myself, things I was interested in, like piano, jogging/working out, cooking, music, catching up on favorite series....
The thing is, I am who I am. And I love who I am, and it's okay if I'm not a social butterfly. I'm that girl who wants to take a fly swat and squash people who engage in mindless chatter. I don't "like" many people. I find most females in particular to be little carbon copies of main stream media imagery and one another... they all look alike, style their hair alike, dress alike, and even sound alike.... it's annoying. And, I'd rather shoot myself in the face with a shotgun than be one of them. Sorry if that makes me sound like a jerk. I'm really not a jerk. I'd help anyone who was in need, if I could.
Somehow I don't think I've helped you at all. I just wanted to share my thoughts on social butterflies, and that I think the whole experience is totally overrated.

Nicely put, I couldn't of said it better.

This is so perfect, thank you xo

i was diagnosed with social anxiety about ten years ago but in reality have suffered from it since about 15. only recently managed to figure it out if thats the right phrase. i tried every trick in the book but finally figured out what to do. i would really like to help. i think every person suffering from social anxiety thinks they can self heal and falls into the same traps.

i had a very powerful negative mentality that always made me feel very negative about myself in social situations. after social situations i would have the situations going through my head making myself feel worse. i always tried the route of arguing or trying to "logic" myself into feeling better about myself but i rarely won! does that sound familiar to you? or maybe your anxiety is slightly different?

yeah sounds familiar i get it 100%. you almost start to feel like you are psychic convinced you can read the nasty thoughts in peoples minds!! you hardly say anything in social situations before rehersing it in your head and seeing what it sounds like? you would love to be spontaneous? when friends and family members try make you feel better about yourself in your head you just keep saying i dont believe any of that deep down? this may sound weird but when you're thinking to yourself "was that person talking about me" you are having a conversation with yourself and you assume you are correct. if i was to tell you its a conversation between the real you (good you) and the other you (******* you) who is full of all the nasty stuff people have told you and taught you over the years. you will never win an argument with "******* you". trust me i tried for years! and when you ask yoursef after a social situation was that person talking about me, guess who replies?! yes, ******* you. when that happens you have to learn to tell ******* to **** off... am i making any sense, i am probably simplifying it a bit? please tell me if any of it doesnt make sense and i can explain better how it works...

yeah, but the thoughts of being spontaneous and the fear the goes with it that everyone will turn and go "what an idiot". just try and remember that every single negative thought and emotion comes from "******* you". you have to realise that all "******* you" wants to do is hurt you, nothing else. now the real you or "good you", has all the qualities you love about yourself (i'll let you fill in that section!) but at the moment for whatever reason believes "******* you" deserves a fair hearing and is worth listening to. well **** that!! never, ever, ever, give "******* you" a fair hearing. i cannot emphasis that strongly enough. your first mission i'm giving you for the next few days is to listen to yourself and recognise each time "******* you" speaks. its usually along the lines of "that person whispered something about you"or "that person just smirked at what you said and thinks you're a freak". when that happens remember to tell "******* you" to get lost. you must not care for or give respect or time to bullies. the bullying voice will slowly get quieter and quieter. trust me. now go and practise.

yeah... maybe your head works totally different?... i can only tell you what helped me....

if some part of it sounds like it mightn work for you tell me and i'll try explain what i mean better....

i just wanted to follow up on what i was saying about listening to the conversation in your head. i hope it didnt come across as sounding like schizophrenia or something!! thats so not the case. what i'm saying is EVERYBODY, including people who have no anxiety at all have their own conversation or commentary running through their head all the time. its just a verbalisation of our thoughts on how we interpret the world. we all have part good commentary and part bad commentary. its helpful to think of it like two different people. one is negative and the other positive. the problem with people who have social phobia (like i have / used to have) is that we dont question the bad voice, we give it the same respect as the good voice. we are too trusting in a way. we dont realise all the negative voice wants to do is harm us - nothing else. again i hope you are not thinking this sounds like someone with more than social phobia! trust me thats not the case. you have to learn to recognise when the negative voice is speaking and then dismiss it, its a negative commentary that doesnt care about you (its like a script we learned from negative people in our lives). the key is learning to recognise when the negative voice is speaking and when the positive voice is speaking and then treating them differently. i really hope you learn to deal with your social phobia. i understand how difficult it is. i am only trying to help with an understanding that helped me but i dont know if it will suit you. anyway good luck!!

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I know exactly how you feel! I was recently diagnosed with it and you're right, it's not easy for us to just "get over it" or "just do it". Things that are easy for others don't come as easy for us. I would love to be more outgoing and have others see the friendly and sweet person that I am. It's just not that easy.

I actually went to see a therapist this week and I already am starting to feel better that one day I will be able to shake this. Knowing that I have someone that is going to help me through this is relief enough. I don't know if you have sought help, but if you do, you won't regret it. It may not be tomorrow or anytime soon, but if you feel you need some sort of help to get you through it, you should. Everyone deserves to be happy!

I know exactly what you mean. I have been struggling with anxiety since elementary school and I am now 22. I guess you could say, I was born shy and certain situations in my life (bullying) have pushed social anxiety, along with other diagnoses (chronic depression). It has been a long struggle and I wasn't aware that I had either of these things until I finally got the courage to go to my doctor because I was sick and tired of feeling like a piece of **** all the time. Basically I'm not going to tell you that its easy, because I'm sure you know by the comments above that it isn't, but I am here if you ever want to talk. I talk to a counselor every week and it always helps me, but sometimes I like to talk to someone who is actually going through the same thing as me. I have friends, but they just don't understand what I'm going through, I mean to them going out shopping is nothing to them. At times it can be a night mare. Anyways, if you want to talk. Send me a message.

I understand you completely..I get so frustrated when people tell me I need to force myself to talk to does help I will say's just doing it that is SOOOOO hard!!!! I have to literally convince myself for like 5 minutes to talk to some of my FAMILY. It sucks... I will tell you, it DOES get better. Your probably thinking it doesnt and it won't..but it WILL.. Have you tried therapy? That's what I'm doing right now.. I don't even feel comfortable talking to my therapist but I feel after awhile it will help.. Message me if youd like :)

Do you ever get where you talk to distant family and think that your developing a stronger/closer relationship with them, but then when you go to see them the next time, it feels like they are strangers again. I feel this with my grandma, aunts and uncles. It sucks. :(

YES!!!! Wow, I am so glad you just said that.. Practically everybody accept my mom and grandma.. I'll hang out with my dad, sister, cousin and some days it will go great and I feel like im getting more comfortable around them.. next time I see them I have no idea how to act or what to say. It does suck very much. Do you feel like a bad person for feeling like this around family? I mean my dad for goodness sakes.. we were the best of friends when I was growing up and now I just feel awkward around him most the time. It breaks my heart..theres no reason to feel this way.. maybe I just need to spend more time with him, but its hard..

It's hard feeling like that around a parent. My dad and I are still very close but I just wish I could be 100% comfortable around him

I wonder why we are feeling this way.Uggh

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I have social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder. It is hard to live with and I understand how you are feeling. If you need to talk or just need someone to be there for you feel free to message me

I deal with the same thing and people don't understand it...I dont even want to try to pompously give you advice because there is no easy answer. The only thing that helps me is finding people who deal with the same thing.

There's lots of people on EP who would relate and will support you. I'm here to talk if you never need to.

I know what you mean. I suffer from social anxiety and find that it has limited me not only personally but professionally as well. I am a smart, warm, funny person but no one really gets to see that thru the SA

Do you have a support system? Family? Spouse?

That's a shame.. I'm so sorry.. xoxo

That is exactly how I am.. I am a total goofball and a big sweetheart.. I love to be around family and would love to have a friend but nobody gets to see the real me. It's sad..