I hate going out now. I feel so awkward around people. I know I can usually get through if I make it out of the apartment, but the stress and feeling of the world closing in on me is sometimes to much. I didn't use to have this problem and when go to where we use to live I go out, because I use to all those friends. I just don't have that here, I have my awesome wife, her family and then sometimes a friend from rehab or one, yes one, friend i made when I was taking classes. Unfortunately some health problem have kept me out of school and has only made my anxiety worse. I am going to take one class starting next week, it's late in the afternoon so i know i will be awake from the insomnia that is has already started. My anxious Bipolar brain is on overload. And I am supposed to go to a going away get together for my wife's assistant. I have already passed on taking her to work, had her take my gift just so i could stay home if I wanted to. I am horrible i had an epidural yesterday and that is in my mind as an excuse even though I doing fine from it. UGGGGGGH
RingoVonCitrus RingoVonCitrus
46-50, M
4 Responses Aug 21, 2014

I made it out, it wasn't that bad i actually had a pretty decent time


I must say I had no Idea what Vbb stood for, now looking it up I know what it means but I have no idea what the reference is from.

As I just reread what I wrote I am pretty sure I am a little manic right now. I need to do a little deep breathing and maybe a nap only 21/2 hours until I have to be out the door.